She squeezed.
I bled.
She trampled
my vintage
left to gather dust
sealed in the cellar.
Wild
unmanageable
a sense of reason
where logic
the knife pared
away emotion
‘til devotion was her right.
I left.
“No balls,”
she said.
I knew --
I didn’t enjoy
Death
by bed.
2:05 PM
03/02/09
Alexandria, VA
Author notes
Some relationships prove to be lessons one should only learn once.
Prompt: Pulp -- have you ever felt like this
Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Wonderful
Very creative and well expressed. Thank you for sharing
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I am far enough from the pain. It no longer is as dramatic as it once was. If I have managed to make it into art, then it shows we can create things of value with anything that is part of our fabric.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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"She trampled
my vintage
left to gather dust
sealed in the cellar."
YOu are always amazing, Bro
Lynda
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This is a study in how I used to let myself be destroyed. It is more than a memory. It was a way of life before I became free.
Love, Tom B. -
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I am glad you are free sweet Bro
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The only line I have a problem with is this one:
"where logic the knife" -- just the way it reads, seems a bit dragging, as if it should be two lines, instead of the one.
Other than that, a nice poem.
-Nam -
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Thanks, needed the nudge.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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I love your take on the prompt...I can see this in a physical and emotional sense, which I think is very clever of you. Some people can be so overbearing and hurtful...powerfully penned. Enjoyed
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Vulnerabilty for some is only a weakness to be used to advance your desires. I have known a few wolves. Tenderness and grace are not always received as gifts. No matter how much you may love the spirit, you cannot always live with the person who houses. I have one called Circe that covers a similar theme using a jive format instead of this minimalist one. Thanks for the review.
Love,
Tom B.
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oddly "dark" coming from you :-) so you have no balls... LoLoL
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Some dare, some don't. Some challenges are unworthy of being met.
Love, Tom B.
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sickening. the lack of beauty in this piece is what makes it good. i like how firm your speaker is when he leaves. the short, sparse, scant lines are indicative of the strain, stress, and trauma of being in this kind of relationship. i'm glad the speaker got free.
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She wanted what she wanted. I realized I needed to be elsewhere. Even her dares were castigation. There was little lost because little had grown to be thrown away.
Love,
Tom B.
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There is nothing worse than a relationship where one tries to dictate the emotions of another... As if love were something that could be held like any other possession. Incisive and truthfully penned.
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Often control takes precedence. Provides safety. All rationality, a smoke screen, for emotional cowardice. Unfortunately, when you are the victim, objectivity is not part of the tools available. Survival is all that matters.
Love, Tom B.
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Smiled when I read your author notes,cos I wonder if many ever learn that lesson or are doomed to repeats like a bad movie
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What we do not learn, we are bound to repeat. I hope I am learning all the time. Sometimes the hardest part is not the lesson as much as the next step.
Love,
Tom B.
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wow
lovely descriptions....great take on prompt, thank you so much for sharing this with us, a wonderful write!
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It took me time to realize I could not be anything but me. Then it was a process to discover what that me is. Tenderness takes a great deal of strength.
Love, Tom B.
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This spoke on a few different levels and I like the several meanings I saw in your words. You used great descriptions, small yet powerful, digging deep and to the point.
Lovely write, I enjoyed this
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A minimalist style seemed appropriate to drive home the way people were used like objects. Glad you enjoyed.
Love,
Tom B.
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"where logic the knife
pared away emotion
wow such emotions.
what wrong did he do?
the story behind is all a fog. maybe caught cheating..... maybe not.
revenge for lust... maybe right....
thanks for sharing my friend good luck in the contest.
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I have known women who were more concerned with having their way than haveing a man.
Love,
Tom B. -
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What way could be more important?
Than loveing ,"Their Man?" Sorry! -
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For some love is too much risk and they use their ability to attract as a formula to destroy. Sad but true.
Love, Tom B.
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in a lot of ways i can see that. but there is more to life then being the center of attention... or on their case effection.
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There are some that just want to destroy another's life, control of another is a terrible thing.
Felt sad reading this.
Must agree with your AN's... sounds like this sort of relationship needs to be kept at arms length.
Love
Juls: -
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I found, early on in college, their were woman who used men like trophies or to keep themselves amused. Shouldn't have been surprised since their are men who are just as bad.
Love, Tom B.
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