The transit sea below us constant, calm and pleasant, thinking clearly
As my knarled hands fold fresh breakers, racing slowly to the quay
Weaving sea like satin strapping, round the bleak sky’s velvet wrapping
As clear and blue smiles sweetly lapping, lapping by the light of day
So when the night began to fall It washed the light away
The sea calls out in soft delay.
As soothing trade winds kiss the night sky, I’m paralysed by God’s own speed.
The moon recants a gentle light, ebbing, flowing out to sea.
piercing eyes have lost control, like quicksand sinking through my soul
mellow smiles shine from a distance, distance closing in on me.
Music of the waves are singing, I listened silently
The sea cries out now absently.
The shoreline’s lips are kissed with perfume, still smitten from the potent glare
By cool and salty ocean mist, your love once lost resides there
Where tiny bits of star light flicker, two hearts voices beating quicker
Across the night lake, bathing, laughing, laughing from the love they share
Like silver flutes that sang alone, beneath the bathos flare.
The sea now sighs in to the air.
The waves begin to play a new tune, while dancing underneath the new moon
The surf brings every note ashore, just like the seashells swirling frames
Where nature's footprint leaves a mark, upon the edge where earth is dark
Feel the great rush, passing, softly, softly from the merman's games
To place them at the ocean’s feet, until the dry sky rains
the sea fans out in liquid flames.
As white waves roll with growing force, as martyrs of the world they sing
Underneeth the path of pure light, that glows with beauty beyond day.
Of every sky that they have seen, and every space where they have been
A lilting song of far away, away from chilling eyes of prey
Where noone else can follow us, beneath congealed clay.
they softly call and in whispers grey.
"Come dream with me my tired friend, Until the night comes to it's end
and follow every twinkling star, each stiched like sequins in the sky
Then let me wash your cares away, and cradle you upon the spray.”
So if at night you look for me, Upon the shore is where I’ll be
A place where I can close my eyes, And hear the sea’s soft lullabies
Author notes
inspired by the poem http://allpoetry.com/poem/2470551?feature=212753 by Sewasham
and by the style of edgar allen poe, The Raven.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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i read the notes, re read poem [you know how much i love that poem] and i have just a few things to say.
they all amount to one thing.
oh holy shit youre good. -
WOW Great Poem
I really love the imagery of that. I could see the sea in my head. It is really beautiful and intriguing. I wish I could write like that. Thanks for sharing it.
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I was going to point out that it reminded me of Poe, and then I saw your author's notes In any case I really love it (maybe because I love Poe?). The cadence is amazing...I had to read it out loud! Great and subtle use of alliteration, and the last stanza felt like a perfect ending. I could see everything you described and really felt the sea as a presence.
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the syllable count is deliberate to poe's style lol so every word has it's place lol.
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The raven, one of my favorite poems. This is a good poem, it has alot of metaphors, just a tip though, I had to learn to do this too, to shorten lines and take out un-needed words, like:
"The waves begin to play a new tune, while dancing underneath the new moon" take out the while, its not needed and it has just as much power without it.
Good work, really good poem.
Signed with love,
Mirage xxx -
Quite a stunning work of art.
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Why Thankyou very much. It isn't quite finnished as you can see but taking on someone else's style cannot be rushed
thanks for the vote of confidence.
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Great work, I'm impressed. You did a brilliant job on this and should be quite proud. You captured Poe's style perfectly. Very well done. Take care and Have fun. Steve
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