How Can You Love Me?

How can you love me, Ryan?
You slap me around until my face is red.
How can you love me?
You punch me in the stomach and
leave me on the ground.
How can you love me and still strike me?

Two years ago, you were such a sweetheart.
You loved me like I was the last person in this world
and you treated me like a princess.
You bought me dinner, chocolates, and flowers
But you always seemed to buy me more.
Then, you would take me out to the movies
or for a walk out on the beach.
You would kiss me so sweetly
that you made me blush
and you would hold me for hours
at a time every single day.
But then you suddenly changed?

What happened to you?
What caused you to change this aggressively?
Was it something that I did?
Was I that much of a horrible girlfriend,
even though I never complained to you
and never asked for a thing?
Were you mad at something or
was it just me?

I know that you don’t really hate me,
because you still act kind at times.
When they want to be, your hands
feel gentle and warm against my bare skin.
But very rarely do they take care of me.
Your eyes soften up and the blind fury fades away
as they start to have somewhat compassion in them,
even though I can sense false remorse in them.
And sometimes your voice can sound seductive
and pleasant when it’s not barking swear words or
screaming out me in a rage.

But even though I know you don’t hate me,
I don’t think you love me enough.
Because if you really did love me
as you say a million times,
you wouldn’t feel the need to harm me everyday.
You wouldn’t put me down
or beat me down to feel superior.
And you most certainly wouldn’t feel
the need to force me into sex when I resist you.

So you claim to love me with all your heart
but how can you love me when
all you do is beat me?