Ommetaphobia- the fear of eyes by bigperm at All poetry

Life.

Smell your sweet nectar.

Canine.

The hunt is on.

Bite the pillow.

Legs spread…

As tongue tickles your fancy.

Fistful of sheets.

Rocking the ships at port.

Rainstorm. Emotion.

Eye of storm sees calm of sea.

All in due time, these…

Sins of flesh.

Whisky bottles.

Liquid vacation.

Cruise line alleyways.

Mingling with sophisticated rats.

Next stop…

Stigmata in the spring.

III

Religion.

Leprous lands in the sky.

Satellites collide.

Space debris.

Glass shards and bruised egos.

Oh to eat from silver spoons

And bark at many moons.

Inject in and of the same vein.

Hepatitis knowledge. Insane.

God sheds a crocodile tear…

For the future's bleak I fear.

We are but dust on galaxy’s mantle.

Unbroken mirrors are not good luck

Unlike their reflection.

Only broken minds.

Irony. How cliché.

Poems on paper decay.

Divining the future, lines on hands.

Hourglass vessels the falling sands.

Muse sucks the seeds from my root.

Stillborn consciousness.

So I’ll never bloom.

Till I’m dropped,

Swallowed by the hungry ground.

Time doeth pass.

Over there…greener is the grass.

Author notes

image credit by FindStuff2 @ photobucket

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By me, right now

Adding your comment:
cheaphotelsign
2 days ago
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i didnt read this piece...i experienced it...holy wow...beginning with heat and savagery, most favoured...made blood boil and blushed skin...pulse quicken...and it only got better from there...you tore me up...the spectrum of emotion...and the numbness of it all...incredible language...weighs perfectly on the tongue, off the lips...i am floored...and i am rambling...please pardon...well done, like no other...
daffodilblossom
November 19

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if ur staying in my contest no revisions please i hate when people change the work they do your first thought should always be what the pen flows to the paper and besides this is the best one in the contest so far
Sheli
October 22
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BRAVO!!!
Not-The-Sun
October 12

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"For the futures bleak I fear." I think you may be missing an apostrophe in future's, third section.

I especially liked the last section, and in particular, the line "Hourglass vessels the falling sands." This style is very unique but I enjoyed it nonetheless : )
Tzipora
October 12

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niceee.

by the way, your page is amazing !
- bigperm
  October 12
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  sweeeet
  lol
Marjorie Marie
October 12

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What a great read. Seriously enjoyed every bit of this!
- paul claxton
  October 15
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  lovely jubbley gud stuff i luv ur work
SillyGillysGirl
October 12

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and i think that 'stillborn consciousness' is profound!!!!!!! really good
SillyGillysGirl
October 12
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this is fantastic!
Candyknife
September 25

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wow...
what an amazing piece of work youve stung together here in such a stale and lifeless feel
its so entrancing like youre soaring through the mess below and forcing yourself to see it all, id fear my eyes aswell if everything was this clear, but perhaps its not the eyes one should fear- its the knowledge and being able to comprrhend what the eyes only see
truly splendid writing here, thanks for sharing !
Mango Memories
September 21
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Dayyyaam. What a rollercoster!
Playstation2004
September 11

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I'll agree, the grass IS greener...lol. But seriously, I really thought this poem was provocative. The imagery and the emotion you brought out with your word choice was lovely. P.S> It's awesome that you use doeth. More people should do that.
lunarlunacy
August 17

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Swallowed by the hungry ground. love that line, amongst many others. and the rat reference got my appreciation as a metaphor i oft use myself. Kudos bro. I don't think the notes were necessary but atleast it was still left in a general sense without being spoon fed with a shovel. Right on! Write on!
Oh.My.Juliet
August 12
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So amazing! I love the picture and this really re-enforced it. Just wow!

x
storiesuntold
August 1

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Great work here and oh such truth in your words
I found this write as one all should read for this old world has become torn with ragged edges in our beliefes today and how far off track we have strayed .Bravo very well written piece here
Snowing Kisses
July 15

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OMG THIS IS AWESOME
i love this its incredible outstanding, what can i say
just simply superb
thankyou
T
XRainbowliciousX
June 24

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i don't think anything could make this better. Not only is this a great poem it also is really smart...I feel intelligent just reading it.

Great write and wonderful picture to go with it.
glenn shannon
June 12

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what a ripper this is first i was like mmm tasty then just addicted till the end and still anted more this is top grade stuff bro youre a champ with the word thats for sure
Da Last Hope
June 1
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The third stanza is very captivating!
Rheea
May 29

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well you sure did write this very well I liked the way you wound it round and round and the words you chose. Every time I begin to think I might be ok I start reading people like you and Stone and I know I am no where this talented.
Daizee
April 26

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Great poem... good author notes. I giggled over debauchery... I love that word

Stacy
Patpowers
April 24

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Beautiful Bigperm!
Nice job on this! I liked the message and the way this was written. Keep it up my friend!
tomisb
April 22

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There is an artist hiding in this cacaphony of language. You know the power of show over tell. The first vignette is both sensual and matter of fact. A nice "It is what it is, so get over it" attitude in the first part that sets up everything that follows.

It almost conflicts with the second vingette, but those who know the power of booze might shift the attitude to false courage and the imagery as a brush with to much Jack D.

The flow to religion is perfect. Not as the opium of the masses but more the toilet to hold all forms of guilt. Tight nut of conflicts simmered perfectly to accent this poem.

In the end it is drugs or rock'n'roll it is sex. The only chance we have for immortality is DNA.

Is this dance of words with their partial provoking imagery and expression in the end of the fear of being seen, being found out.
Peace, Tom B.
hisaddiction
April 20
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Speechless..
There's actually no comment that I could give that would do you justice.
Aesthete2000
March 26

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Oh, how you like to play
with the mind of the reader,
insert images the don't
wish to fade.

Re your conclusion....
Seems you have been dropped
and sprouted on the greener grass,
growing vigorously, to propogate
on the page!

Fascinating!

M-C
white stone
March 24
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Excellent. Damn sophisticated rats...dirty. I am humbled.
sleepinglion
March 23

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I do like the last three lines of verse 3
Love verse 4 and some of verse 5
debauchery and vice are things I try to avoid ,we are so exposed to these things nowadays, I am looking for a gentler world
Lion
Sudo Nimh
March 16

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it was this poem that prompted me to add you as a favorite..an excellent juxtaposition of life and religion here, i thought, and i liked how every line (almost) was a very short sentence...an interesting and descriptive piece here.
BlancetNoir
March 9

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I like the way this scans, it has a nice voice, I would love to hear it spoken, I appreciate the interpretation, it is pretty much what I thought you were saying, yet, it's good to have it affirmed...
Zenda-Lokki
March 6
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I have to say that as soon as I read "crimson" in the very first line I was put off slightly as this is a very over-used word in poetry and for some reason I hate it. Having said that I enjoyed reading the poem but like many other readers I struggled to find the hidden meaning. Thank you for taking the time to interret this piece for us but I can't help feeling that poetry should be self explanitory.
Little-Buster
March 6

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I was expecting something about fearing your eyes lol
Great write.
Keep up the good work.

-Buster
catz
March 5

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A very impressive piece of writing I enjoy the quick thoughts and the abstractness in this piece. You, my friend are one hell of a writer with an imagination to match.

Your interpretation in your author comment is pretty much as what I had gotten from the poem, too.

The rhyming is wonderfully put, bringing each line together, in tune.

Excellent writing

Dee
JustFallingApart
March 3

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wow, this was impresive, very impresive. I like it. I've never read anything like it. You're definately an intelecctual writer, and so wise. Again nice write, you did very well on this. Best of luck in the contest, keep the pen flowing, and I hope all is well
ezramon
March 3
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I did enjoy this condensation of life's difficulties, quite a bit.
wwfhrocks14
March 3

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wow, i loved this!! I loved the picture. "Bite the pillow.

Legs spread…

As tongue tickles your fancy." awesome!! I love the way you use words, so clever!! great poem.

-kat
Griswold
March 3

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I clicked on this because of the title, never heard of the fear of eyes before and decided to check it out. It certainly is abstract because I just dont get it. but I'm old and always use that as my excuse. Best of luck...Scott
The Cube
March 3

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Definately not of the norm. It provokes a lot of thought as well as metephors throughout the piece. Good work here.
Trapped Rage
March 2

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Good God! You manipulate language so well, I am envious. This was wonderful. Loved the color behind your words and the images they provoked. Great job.
Viyanna Rosemarie
March 2

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this is very, very good. thank you for sharing it with me today. i wish you well in this contest that you have entered and am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
Silence of Finality
March 2

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My mind goes so many places reading this piece. A lot of the lines speak to me in many personal ways, and I do not just mean sexual, as many would think, but much of what you wrote hit home for me and it was a comfort to see these thoughts written down by someone other than myself. I appreciated reading this. Thank you for sharing such fine work.
nichtmich
March 2

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A litle bit of everything. Passion, debauchery, religion; "mingling with sophisticated rats" gave me a giggle. At first I was looking for a common thread, a solid link to fear of eyes..so this is abstract? I think I kinda like it!
fjola
March 2

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DAMN
This is freaking grand. Completely the sort of poetry I would put under the category of "Abstract writing"; I've seen a lot of poems that claim to be in that genre, but they usually seem like regular poetry to me. Abstract is a different sort of thing (you obviously know). This is a flashing slideshow of awesome images.
Yemassee
March 2

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Random, sur, but at it's core is dissatisfaction...whether intentional or not, that's how I read it. It's kind of like the saying...who was it? James Dean? Brando?

"What are you rebelling about"
"What have you got?"

That's this poem. It is fun to read, nicely done random poetry usually it because it gets you thinking. I've read my share over the years.
Still Standing
March 2

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My Goodness
The imagery is out the ball park. You nailed this one I see why it is one of your own personal favs! I like the end for obvious reasons you may know:

Time doeth pass.

Over there…greener is the grass.

Great job buddy!
humblpye
March 2

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Stumbled on this...
this is really good stuff, it's a rush...thoughts materializing without having to think them...Kerouac springs to mind...
yes, good stuff friend!
oldpoets
March 2

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Thisdis a veryy powerful write within an unsual format. I am not all that familar weith the abstrqct work so I find it a bit hard to judge.
- bigperm
  March 2
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  I am not familiar with any style of abstract writing...
  or if there is one for that matter.lol This was just some random things that floated through my mind and I thought what better a way to portray them than under the guise of an abstract contest.
Swangrnv
March 2

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WOW!!
This is awesome my friend, a real powerhouse of a write..loved theentire piece, but like my friend below i agree the last one is a knockout stanza kid! well done.
couldbeworse
March 2

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fav stanza:

Muse sucks the seeds from my root.

Stillborn consciousness.

So I’ll never bloom.

Till I’m dropped,

Swallowed by the hungry ground.

Time doeth pass.

Over there…greener is the grass.

excellent write!!!