i am an eggshell;
soft, yet sharp as nails,
pale glass cuts open satin fingers
as embryonic confines
leave the onions gasping for freedom.
i am air;
untraceable and brittle.
they say i'm made from steel
and crimson;
[actually, i am transparent
& they can see through me]
but only because i pretend
to have spinal cords for eyes.
i am despair;
strong and silent,
clinging to silver threads of nothing;
the word is home to me.
Author notes
Prompt:
"Whirlwinds of emotions control actions, longing to emerge from our universal abyss."
In a list
A contest entry
- Greeter's Group Contest March by Shari-Lei.
800 points, ended March 29, 2009, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Amaranthine Lover's The Best of 2009: by amaranthine lover.
35000 points, ended January 7, 44 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Fluff is great, but it really doesn't help; honesty is the best policy.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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22.53 / 25
So many metaphors and imagery!
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Beautifully done as you personify the unharmed.
I truly loved the desciptions-- you did the fluff service, m'dear!. Congrats!
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Thanks for Participating!
This is brilliant. I normally sit there and tell you to capitalise the letter "I" but I don't want that here.
Your words made me feel lonely. It's so easy to live a life when nobody sees you. Only it hurts more then they realise.
This is great I'm sure Sarah loves it
Shari
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fluff... what about honest fluff?
"strong and silent, clinging to the silver threads of nothing" yeah, that was awesomely done.
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I love the lines of "I am ..." - they really set up what follows, and the separation of them is very effective in changing the pace of the poem
- "spinal cords for eyes" is just brilliant - amazing imagery and I don't think I'll be getting it out of my head any time soon! Wonderful
Polly
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awesome take on the prompt,, well done
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