Rode into town the other day
to buy shoes at the feed&grain
('cause Art knows how to bend the tips
of size 10s and make 'em a perfect fit
for my mare without need to refire 'em.)
So I took her out back of the haybarn,
stepped her up an' filed her down.
Jimmy brought me the shoes
an' I tacked 'em on, then went inside
to pay my tab.
Well, this feller jawin' at the counter
dressed all in buckskins, with a handlebar moustache
an' a pair of bird's head Colts
peekin' out of a sash,
he says
"Oh, Man, are YOU outta period!"
I was sorta at a loss. I reckon it showed.
He says "Cowboys didn't have bluejeans
on the 1880s. Levi Strauss made trousers
for miners and muleskinners! And that buscadero
rig you're wearin', that's just straight outta the movies!
It wasn't invented 'til the 1920s!"
I looked at him like he'd lost his mind
I guess ('cuz that's what I thought, anyway!)
I gave Art my twenty, got my change, stepped outside
an' dug a match out of my vest pocket and lit a cigarette.
Well, this relic from the past followed me outside, sitll goin'!
(Before the door swung shut, I heard Art say
"Jimmy, go with 'em.")
"Filter-tips? Book-matches? A wrist watch and TRI-focals?!
A ZIPPER on your chaps?!
Where'd you read about history, Slim?!"
This feller was gettin' on my nerves! Then Jimmy spoke up
an' not much too damn soon.
He says "Rick, Eric dresses that way every day.
He lives purty far outta town, an' prob'ly don't even know
there's a Frontier Days Celebration goin' on.
Now why don't you come on back inside...
an' let your hand down real slow
'cause I oughta tell ya, his .45 ain't loaded with blanks, either.
While I was swingin' up into the saddle, with Whisper
dancin' just a bit, proud of her new shoes
I heard him say,
"He dresses that way every day?!
What is he, some kinda nut?!"
Author notes
No...I'm not back in the saddle.
I was lookin' at Whisper's hooves a bit ago, thinkin' it's time to call the farrier out and rememberin' how much cheaper it was when I could do it myself, and this old event sorta popped up.
It prob'ly would'a gone better as prose...but what the hell?
A contest entry
- Guaranteed Comments! III by Nam.
1750 points, ended April 14, 2009, 152 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
No, this ain't too terribly poetical...it just sorta needed sayin', I guess.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I like this story a lot. I read it a while back. I thought I had commented on it before, I guess I hadn't. Well, its pretty good.
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"to buy shoes at the feed&grain"
I would suggest changing "feed&grain" to "feed & grain".
""Oh, Man, are YOU outta period!""
I'm thinking this line means 'displaced in time'. Now, I'm Southern, myself, and though Southern is different than Western they do have similarities and I've never heard a Westerner nor a Southerner say "period" in reference to 'time'. It just seems a bit out of place. But I'm sure you'll tell me different.
"He says "Cowboys didn't have bluejeans
on the 1880s. Levi Strauss made trousers "
1. second line: "on in the 1880s" or "in the 1880s" either one works, what you have doesn't.
2. Jeans have been around since the 16th Century, mainly in Europe but came to the U.S. in the 1850s. Levi Strauss introduced Jeans in the 1850s. The pocket jeans, and rivetted jeans came about in the 1870s. Still beats your 1880s.
"Well, this relic from the past followed me outside, sitll goin'!"
"sitll" would be "still".
Other than those things. I thought it was pretty good.
-Nam -
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As I didn't have a word for it, I have to thank Stef for giving me the name...stitch nazi. The guy speaking was a re-enactor of the old west. I didn't choose his words or his knowledge of denim pants.
Thanks for pointing out the typos.
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I really enjoyed this, especially how it's typed to suit dialect.
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haha, a fun read...I always get a kick out of the way people dress here during the Calgary Stampede...Everyone is a "cowboy" for 10 days in July...the whole city dresses up. It's about the only time of year I don't wear my cowboy hat much...as I don't like being lumped in with all the other gunsels. Great job with this.
Rory
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Exactly why, duringFrontier Days, I generally make a point of wearing my most battered hat and boots.
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hahahahahahahaaha
eeerrrggggh
hahahahahahahaha
You got nobbled by a stitch nazi!
We were dressed in 'normal ' clothes and went along to a multi-period historical re-enactment event , for once not taking part. Someone medieval-ish came up to us and asked what we had come as
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ROFLMAO!!
For the record, I do have a single-loop. http://www.normpo.com/~Eric/holsters.jpg I used to wear it if I was going to be riding real rough terrain, 'cause the buscadero rides a bit too low down my leg for lots of up-n-down.
I don't 'do' the whole dress-up thing on Frontier Days; got no real idea what sort of trousers might be 'period' anyway, much less where to buy 'em, and today's cowboy is plenty 'nuff cowboy for me.
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I always love your anecdotes, Eric. Nothing wrong with "prose poetry". I wrote several stories in stanzas before I realized they were really paragraphs and re-did them as straight prose (without changing a word, just line "length").
I hope you continue to improve and will be able to get "back in the saddle".
Cheers, Eric. Your friends always look forward to your words, whatever they may be.
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H'lo, Heinzs! Always happy to see you drop by.
As for improving...I sure hope so too! Poor Whisper is startin' to think she's a lap-dog for lack of ridin'.
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This is a great story/poem Eric. I bet that bloke was a real plonker! I really can imagine all of this. I have been a bit depressed of late, you have bought a smile to my face. Cheers.
Oh, & Happy St David's day! Or 'Dydd Gŵyl Dewi Sant Hapus' if you are Welsh. I'm not, I just used to live there...
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I have some Scot and Irish, but I don't know as I can claim any Welsh blood...beyond the mere fact that I'm pretty much a mongrel.
I've tried, lately, to keep up on when these celebrations occur, and simplify my attire so no one thinks I'm trying to dress 'period'...but things like this do occasionally happen anyway.
[sigh]
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