Bring it On

The clouds cried with me
as I sat huddled cold and alone
atop the roof that looked out
over my universal home below;
a soccer pitch.
My own tears,
silently sliding down my pale cheeks
from the wind's breath,
were lost amongst the cloud's own.
The poison was in my pocket,
the call of death in my head,
and the sting of loneliness in my heart.
Just a couple doses and I would be done,
I would finally be away from here,
away from the hurt and pain,
their laughter and jokes,
the sorrow and loneliness.
I could finally rid myself of it all
with only a little bit.
All I had to do was open the bottle,
but I couldn't.
A part of me was fighting inside,
crying out for life.
I yelled into the darkness,
taunting it for making me feel like this,
pleading that it would make it stop,
but no answer came to me,
at least I thought it didn't.
I sat there,
holding the bottle tightly,
clutching it with all my strength.
In the distance I could hear people,
their laughter carrying across the open plain,
angering me all the more.
Why could I not have that,
have friends and be accepted,
or belong and fit in,
is what I thought to myself again,
cursing the night as I did so.
I continued to sit there,
the war raging through my head,
the seconds turning to minutes.
And then silence came upon me,
as a new occurrence dawned on me,
what if all of it was the point,
what if everything that has been going on
was simply an obstacle meant to test me,
that I am supposed to learn from,
to grow from?
I hugged my backpack and knees to my chest tighter,
trying to protect my Bible that lay within
as the tears fell harder from the sky,
but as my own began to cease.
A small smile crossed my face
for a simple word came to mind,
perseverance.
I put the bottle back into the bag,
and as I did so,
a weight lifted off my chest.
I knew that it did not mean that all would be well,
that everything would change,
for you cannot change others,
but you can change your thoughts.
I knew it was still going to be tough,
but when have I ever backed out from a fight?
I stood up from where I was,
the rain finally beginning to cease,
and my hurt as well for the time.
I punched my fist into my other hand,
saying "bring it on" into the night.
And as I climbed down from where I was,
I knew that it was true,
I am going to make it through.