You Ruined My Life

You grasp my body,
pushing yourself in me, harder and harder
I didnt think about it much then,
the love I had for you
we never really talked,
we never really listened
all we did was have sex
a big no-no

But that one day that you called,
I said I loved you,
didnt that mean anything to you?
why did you still ditch me?
should I tell you how much you meant to me
or should I just drop it?

I think of you, every now and then
and think of the great couple we could have been
but when I find out something startling,
should I tell you or no
should I tell you we concived a son?
should I tell you that you need to be resopnsiple?
should I tell you to come back to me?
should I tell you I need you?
no.
Instead I wait for the whole nine months,
blocking you out of our lives
when I finally give birth
to your unknown son
I even name him after you,
as hard as it is for me
because you his father,
your the man that concived him but dosent know

when you show up with flowers in your hand
I fear that you will be angry
if you find out about our son
so I put him, asleep, in a closet
and answer the door.

you invite me to go to dinner
and of course I say sure
because I would have always had a "what if"
of i didnt go.
soon after that, you invited me up to your apartment
but you didnt fool me,
I knew what you meant
but you stopped the car
and pulled me into the back seat
their we had sex
but it was never by my choice
you make me stay for
what seemed like hours.
i am terrifed by what you are doing
and most important,
i am terrifed for our baby.
I tell you I really need to go home
I tell you ill have sex with you tomarro
but you knew I would call the police
and you just push harder

you drop me off,
throwing me out of the car
and threating to kill me if I tell
but to late, the baby is wailing
he hears it, to
he walks out of the car,
my heart dying
and I run for my baby
i slam the front door and turn for the closet
I wisp him up as you enter
hugging him and cradling him
he demand though, so you found another man?
I scream and tell him everything
from the feeling to the facts
you sit their and listen
then turn to leave
but slap me first and say you hate me

but that night you left me with another part of you
you also left me with a daugher
yes, you knocked me up again
by force in a car
youve hurt my so much
by dumping, leaving, coming back, forced sex,
and leaving me with to babies.
so what made you think I could ever love again
much more, what ever made I would love YOU again
so when you got out of jail
what did you do?
It was many years later
and our children were running around the house

you knock on the door
i think it safe
so I open the door
so, you say, do you have a husband?
i scream no feeling so hurt I could have cried
I told you that night,
you knocked me up agian
then I slam the door in your face

nine years later, i met the right man
the perfect man for me
after our wedding
we wanted to have more then our
teenaged kids, but guess what
you also gave me an STD
and I cant have anymore kids.
how does that feel?
knowing you totally ruined somebodies life?