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I Want You.

 

Light the candles, yes

The scented ones please

Because I must confess

I’m in a mood to tease

 

Let’s bathe and wear

No more than a smile

Then in detail share

Fantasies for a while

 

May I please go first

As I’m quite excited

To quench your thirst

And get my fire ignited

 

Like a fervent hot gust

I blow over your plain

Arousing an intense lust

You very nearly go insane

 

As I softly nibble and kiss

Your body bare and tense

There is nothing that I miss

As I have a sort of sixth sense

 

So with tender lips I explore

Your quivering frame so fine

Shaking you to your very core

You shudder and begin to whine

 

For my tongue has found its prize

And whines are turning to screams

As I watch your trembling hips rise

I taste of your warm sweet streams.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 38 of 38

  • Emmyb gold member
    August 6

    Edit | Reply
    yeah this would be good for the contest. i agree

    ps lovely write - not sure ive seen it before


    • MJ Donnelly gold member
      August 6
      Edit | Reply
      Nope, you have not seen this one before; it seems that I slipped one by you.


  • Snowing Kisses gold member
    April 26

    Edit | Reply
    this is sort of errotic yet romantic, a very finely balanced blend of sheer pefection,
    nicely done, your work is so fine


  • YOtta
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    I must admit, I have a flare for writing dark erotica but this kind of on going, seductive tease, I’ve never seen.
    I really love how you put your lover first, how you were enslaved to her needs and you ended your poem with such intensity, it kept me engaged and curious.
    Your words, even though simple portray the romantic, wild side of you and for a change, I see men putting their women first! lol

    Delicious write! =)


  • Kristin103161
    April 14

    Edit | Reply
    Your detail in writing erotic poetry is surpassed here by few, you captivate me each and every time I read one!!

    Thanks for allowing me to be a voyeur

    Kristin


  • Flowergirl
    March 28
    Edit | Reply
    wow very intensifying i love it great work and nice job i felt as though i was there...


  • BearWoman gold member
    March 27

    Edit | Reply

    Very nice. Encore!

    For erotic, that is quite polite! ("May I please go first") I especially like "You shudder and begin to whine" and the entire final stanza.


  • JinSays gold member
    March 5

    Edit | Reply
    The first thing I noticed about this write was the rhyme. I dont think I've ever seen you rhyme before .
    Second thing I noticed was the softness. There's not a hint of rough play at all, and sometimes that's welcome, but here-what you've got down could seduce any woman.
    Really good stuff.
    Love,
    jin


  • Amera gold member
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    mmmm… this is delicious! I said it before; your wife is a lucky girl. You sent me this link after you read my dedication to cricketjeff. After the first stanza, I knew this wasn’t written to him. Great work!

    Love,
    Amera♥

  • Kristin103161
    March 3
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    This is fantastic it made me wet!!!!!!!

    Kristin


  • tara wilson gold member
    March 2
    Edit | Reply
    well, this is sure a slip of the tongue.


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    March 2

    Edit | Reply
    Talk about your concrete poetry - nice form, there bro.

    See, this isn't helping my manic mood at all. I need to come down a little, not get more worked up, lol.

    You write sensuality well, as usual.


  • CountryCousin
    March 1

    Edit | Reply

    Very sensual.

    This is very sensual and it only shows how talented you are in writing these. You know how to get a fire going old chap.


    • MJ Donnelly gold member
      March 2
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you dear, and yes, I wanted the piece to be effective yet not 'raunchy' if you know what I mean.


  • Daizee silver member
    March 1

    Edit | Reply
    I about dropped my mug of hot coffee.. the hot gust blowing over plain bit. Stunning visuals you've created.

    Stacy


  • Lady of the Lake
    March 1

    Edit | Reply
    Now this would pull a sigh from any womans heart..so tender and romantic yet soft and lovingly written...fans face and cant help but smile.


  • Margaret Denham gold member
    March 1

    Edit | Reply
    You've done it again!!

    Perfectly sensual and erotic.

    Best wishes in the contest but I really don't think they'll be needed.

    Love Margaret


  • geckogirl silver member
    March 1
    Edit | Reply
    turns fans on high


  • fortyninereasons gold member
    March 1

    Edit | Reply
    *puts the a/c on even though the weather has turned cold!

    Juls


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    March 1
    Edit | Reply
    I see soap bubbles.

    Awesome work bro.

1 - 38 of 38