I walk into the a land
of the unknowing and found
a rose that grown with petals
that couldn'tn shields it's self from the wind
and the rain.
But covers it's self with a white
wing as a bird. I drew my self closer
to the rose and to see the wing that
grown on the outside.
Look at what was their a small little
bird that hides from the world and shields
it self from the wind and the rain.
I closed my eyes to an think of
wonder of a small animal that hides
in a rose. I held my hands to rose for
the bird to come too.
The bird stocked out his neck and
claimed into my hands. The thought of
something so small has a big purpose in
life.
I held the bird close to my face and smiled
at it and gazed into it's eye and seen the world
from the eyes of an rose-bird without wings
A contest entry
- "Rose" Options (Added Silver, Bronze and HM's!) by xPlatinum-Lotusx.
550 points, ended July 3, 2009, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
rosebird
Comments
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There are quite a few grammar problems and a lot of mispellings. I would suggest spell check and dictionary. No I am not trying to be mean, as I really did enjoy this piece for its value and meaning. It was very good with the exception of the distraction of the poor grammar and poor spelling. Thanks for entry though, it was a good read.
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Just a beautiful poetry and strong immagery you used here to depict the emotions..well done..and my thanks for sharingit..
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I love people writing about roses but roses and birds... Then that is really different! I can really see where you are going with this piece... Well done mate.
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Although there are some grammer errors, over all I find this to be a fascinating and attractive young tale.
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