Once upon a time I wished for peace
In a world that shredded dreams for the unsuccessful dreamer
Where one could hope to create a life-changing thing
A thing brought forth from the subconscious
To the pages of a dusty, unread romantic paperback.
Heart and soul poured into wrinkled pages
Stained by deep cerulean blood from a never-ending inkwell.
The sorrow of that failure masked by a quilt of lies
A bitter reflection
Of the soul, the imagery, the spirit and the life that was put into that piece.
The endless days, writing diligently from morning till dusk
Looking over rough drafts scrawled in hurried chicken scratch
All the while in comfort, rocking in a wooden chair.
Apathetic feelings towards the piece leads to a stroll along the shore,
Water glistening and waves rolling subtly, then crashing.
Starlight illuminating a single, fluffy silver cloud,
Shivering, quite alone and stark against the black night sky.
3 am, began the piece again.
This time, tried it medicated.
Wrote in foreign, slanted calligraphy
Uninterrupted till the coughing fit began
Then the white pages turned fuzzy and gray
Heard a faraway bell, maybe from a church,
And incorporated it into the piece.
Played the music of past and better days
And sang broken chords and landed
On a single note, oh so hollow and terrifying.
The last sound of the night is the rueful, defeated laughter
Which will ring out and echo off blank and empty walls.
A failed attempt.
A contest entry
- Random Options by Simply Simple.
1200 points, ended March 27, 50 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Well developed
I love this - definitely not a failed attempt! You have such a mature and sophisticated control over language for 17. I'm a young writer too (16) and envy you! I can tell you really thought about this, and there are ideas that follow throughout the entire poem which gives it great flow. The only thing that would make reading it easier is if you structured it into stanzas? That's the only suggestion I have, because it's a huge block of text - good text, but a block nontheless.
Good job
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great
it's a really beautiful poem.superb work!
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= )
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great
everytime i read something of yours i feel like you never waste a word -
Wow. A very interesting, rambling poem. You have done a stunning job with both the imagery and the emotion in this. I especially loved the fifth line. Thanks for sharing.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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I love your last three lines! Amazing amazing amazing!! Anyway sorry for the late comment, and welcome to the finalists list.
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wonderful
great write!!!
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This was an amazing piece, I enjoyed it very much. The flow was very nice and well peened, great job!
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Superb
A very fine write, indeed. You have expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
this is beautiful
nuff said
your Faerie
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This is insanely wild.
You are Excellent lass !
I am incredibly blown away by this piece.
Not to slight the good gentleman below ...
but you have emerged....
what metamorphoses you take i can only guess...
but you have reached a very cool plateau on this piece.
Blessings little gypsy,
Lowell
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Thank you so very much, Lowell! This just made my day that much better. What a sweet and heart-felt comment. Much appreciated.
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Your writing shows definite talent and emerging skill. I will put you among my favoritres.
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Wow! Thank you so much! I appreciate such a lovely comment!
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Chelsea this is fucking AHHMAZING I love how you open "In a world that shredded dreams for the unsuccessful dreamer" Bah!! Who can compare to this. No one, you are amazing my friend. ilu
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thanks lovesicle!
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