Today I caught you in a dream,
With a far away gaze
In your eyes.
And I know you are manipulating
Some magical melody
You and I could become.
Your toes tapping
To a harmonic cadence
That only you can hear.
As the corners of your mouth
Are pulled slightly upward,
I know
Happily ever afters
Have been resurrected
From their peaceful sleep.
Yet, in truth, only elegies
Could be composed.
For the orchestra setting the piece into motion
Is crippled.
My broken strings
Sadly sanction oblique motion,
Like a carousel of
Stationary horses.
Foolishly you blaze
Your concerto contains the remedy-
Promises of healing chords
And offerings of nourishment
To a haggard spirit.
How I wish it would be so.
And to let you believe it...
A day is fast approaching
When you’ll need more from me
Than I can give –
When you’ll need me
To need you back.
It is then that you will realize
Your sweet sound of arpeggios
Have hit a sour note.
Author notes
Contest prompt
You can't play on broken strings
~ "Broken Strings" by James Morrison
A contest entry
- Prompt Contest (#16) by Gigglegasm.
400 points, ended March 21, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Beautifully done...
Strong, empowering narrative with great use of imagery & metaphor that makes for a compelling read & enthralls throughout...
Impressive as always...
Keep up the good work & congratulations on a well deserved Silver shiny...
Well done!!!
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oh brilliant! this was a lovely piece..
and there are somewords i dont quiet know! WOOT!
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Thank you very much!
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And so it was that the symphony was never played for the fear of a sour note held the concerto in check.
awannabepoet
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I love that line, promises of healing chords. And so many other lines. Great flow of words. Very well written. A pleasure to read.
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hmm
To me this was a candy of a poem. Im so curious of the taste I had to try it out. I was excited to find its sweet taste at the beginning but then it became tart and then sour as you say. But ultimately I feel like one happy kid to have had the pleasure of enjoying it.
Thank you so much for sharing.
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Wonderful
I'm an old band geek so the musical references were wonderful to read...and please forgive my warped mind...but I absolutely love this part,
"Your sweet sound of arpeggios
Have hit a sour note."
I don't know why but this made me audibly laugh, or at least chuckle...this is going to be a favorite of mine...thanks again, Great Write!!!
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hey....tell me if I am wrong but you do not talk about yourself till half way though the poem???
I know it only gets good..??!!
when we talk to ourselves...write to ourselves... and curse ourselves.
that is our story our carousel of...break my heart?
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So, this is a nice way of saying that this completely sucked? Well, at least you were nice about it (I think), but I don't really get what you are saying. Please humor a haggard old spirit and elaborate
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not at all if it was completely ? sucked ? Why would I waste mine time on a comment???
I am more into myself than that...yes, you can slap me but I will not change.
More true is that I am trying to figure out what I like about your poetry..and to tell you the truth I am thinking that if I find that out...I will know more about my poetry...I had a good mother that taught me of such things, ouch.....like how to steal off of others.
Did I explain myself enough...I am here for my gain..I am here.
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Yeah, I got it. Thanks.
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This is very good, must of really been in love with her. break ups suck. Wonderful flow of words and it was a pleasure to read.
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VERY good...
Sucks if you're the guy who's actually serious about a woman like this though...
Sometimes life's just too complicated...
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, as far as free verse goes, does it suck?
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You are writing some good stuff at the moment Loopy. I love I am a carousel of
Stationary horses. I'm thinking of stealing it LOL!
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Thanks!!
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Who is that strange person incognito?
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Very nice Loopy
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