My pallid structure cannot move,
my spirit has refused to shine.
It’s face contorts and threatens;
Like a hateful, dark design.
The steps I take move backwards,
and my soul has crossed the line.
I try to reach, and take it back,
but it’s no longer mine.
I just don’t matter--- not to you,
so shut me out while I’m still here.
Take away my cracking voice,
if I choose to come near.
You’ll shrink me down to size
until I almost disappear.
Deceive me if you feel the need,
just don’t forget last year.
You stun yourself with numbing liquid,
‘til your insides come undone.
The feeling’s gone, you’re fading,
life has fought you, and it won.
You search for sweet release,
but there is not a single one,
You’d think our lives are separate now…
We’ve only just begun.
Show me that you’re still right here,
Give any signal or a sign,
put me back together now,
and let our fingers intertwine.
I’d tell you that I miss you,
I would tell you that I’m fine,
I’d beg you to stay on this earth,
but you’re no longer mine.
Author notes
February 28, 2009... This was inspired by my ex-girlfriend, Kelsey. Ever since we broke up, she's had a drinking problem and she hasn't been taking care of herself at all. The doctors tell her that if she doesn't change her lifestyle, she could only have about three years left to live... She has a new girlfriend now (Who lives in North Dakota, which is stupid, because we're both north of Chicago) and I don't think I can see her anymore, because I don't think the new girl wants me to... and if the new girl doesn't want me to, Kelsey won't let me see her... and I can't help but miss her terribly. I wish she would quit her drinking.
A contest entry
- I want GRIEF!! by DinkyDiver.
700 points, ended November 8, 2009, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Honorable Mentions by queenie.
1800 points, ended April 8, 2009, 34 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
PLEASE be HONEST when commenting my writing. Tell me I SUCK, if that's what you think.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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this has great flow and great rhymes. it gets its message across in manner that says control. thanks for entering.
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To me, it sounded like a person speaking to themselves. You know? Speaking to his/her own thoughts and soul. Very interesting poem.
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Wow, that was a punch to the stomach! Grief overwhelming that is impossible to defeat. Astounding writing of your sorrow, its amazing and heartbreaking, great write!
Sincerely,
Lonelywolf Tasagka
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Such a beautiful poem, it hurts when you want to help someone and are powerless to do so.
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How sad! Such a good flow to this and great imagery! Welldone and thankyou for sharing this with me! Xxx
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This is very good. It flows so well, It certainly does not suck at all. It's really good, and sad. I felt the emotion's you had while writing.
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