and it hurts

I hope you're doing fine out there without me..
Because I'm not doing so good without you.
I read over your poetry, and I know
I know none of it was ever for me
and it hurts... we kept US so secret
and it hurts...
I told my family about you... and they say it hurts...
that I kept you such a secret...
and suddenly they are so supportive...
but their support is so fake
completely fake compared to you...
you always wanted nothing but the best for me
and you were the thing I needed for so long
you were right there no matter what...
We were always right there...
But there is still so much left unsaid
and I don't understand...
god i'm so angry at you for being so selfish...
you were always so selfless
and now you're gone
you left me here alone...
and it hurts...you promised...
and it hurts...
Wil I'm so afraid.
I'm afraid to meet your family,
without you holding my hand...
I'm afraid of how I'll never hear your voice again
you used to call and say "baby what are you tripping on"
and whatever it was, was gone, my life became perfect again
you melted the depression away...but its back again
I don't know where to turn...
no one understands like you did...
you and I lived in the darkness...together
I used to feel you in my soul...
I knew without calling you that you were upset...
now when I search for you, I can't feel anything
I can't even hear my own heart beat
and it hurts...not feeling you here anymore...
baby why did you leave me?
why did you leave like this...what happened to your plan
that plan I hated so much...
you just couldn't get "lucky" enough...could you?
Wil...part of me died with you that day...
and now I don't know what to do...
I wish I still had you...
I'm in need of your guidance...
tell me you love me and that everything will be alright...