Paint your windows in the night, child,
dye them bright and patterned.
There are cold winds outside,
breathless stardust,
and the howling light
of the moon.
Quiet yourself, and you may hear them –
the swooping rush of their flight,
the off-key whimpers of their breath
(for those who may still breathe),
the rattling clack of finger-bones
against your glass.
Your blankets are not thick enough
to hide you; your quaking limbs
not strong enough to fight.
So paint your windows in the night, child,
and shake until dawn breaks their hold.
Author notes
me; v. supernatural.
A contest entry
- Unplanned - Round 3 - BONUS by Ryno.
525 points, ended April 19, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I loved the image itself.
Individually, it was really strong... and I agree, there was something old-english-y and captivating about the poetic voice here... I was drawn into the poem.
I think the write lacks emotion and lacks depth beyond the image... I think you could've added key words with in to let the readers add more of a background to the write.
However, this is only a minor thing, if you are being really picky. I still loved the idea. Well written. -
This is completely different from your other writes and I feel it must have been way out of your comfort zone.
There's something about this that feels very old english which is an interesting twist considering it's vs a supernatural.
Anyway, good write
Chandni
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