some drift up
some drift down –
petals in the wind
In a list
- Yellow Moon Winklings write Haiku group list • next in list
A contest entry
- haiku only! by fishbubbles.
900 points, ended June 24, 2009, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thoughts?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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all about movement
well done ku in moion
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I can see the picture in my head, of the petals just floating along the wind's current. It's a beautiful scene. Thank you for entering the contest.
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juxtaposition
This is cute, but i think it could be better. Good haiku are usually about two different things - it's the juxtaposition of images which makes it a haiku in the first place.
your haiku seems to be about just the one thing - petals drifting in the wind.
cheers,
myron -
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I agree completely. I think I may "evolve" it into a tanka later on.
Always glad to hear from you! Your critiques are always very helpful.
Best,
El
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nice
What a simple and cute haiku
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oh looky, that one is going in circles!
eep - i feel like a cat!
=P
nice haiku, sis! =) -
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lol. I'm like that when little pools of light zip around the wall when the sun shines on my watch.
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