I wondered about her of late -
she had held contests of goodbyes
and retirement, of leaving the
online system and getting in touch
again with reality...
But the way she left disturbed
me greatly: no notes, no IMs, only
one solitary poem she left
entitled "Disappointment" with one
last word: "Bye."
I hear the song "Ophelia" playing:
"Why would anybody leave so quickly for?
Ophelia - where have you gone?!"
I hope she's allright, wherever she is now;
she was a jewel,
Like a diamond in the rough,
she had so much creative potential...poems,
inspirational comments, pep-groups,
stories, journals, columns - so much talent
and skill now gone...
Taken by thieves in the night,
thieves that stole her self-confidence, no doubt.
It took very little to bring her
down, and a lot to build her self-confidence up;
Ophelia!
Where have you gone?
she had held contests of goodbyes
and retirement, of leaving the
online system and getting in touch
again with reality...
But the way she left disturbed
me greatly: no notes, no IMs, only
one solitary poem she left
entitled "Disappointment" with one
last word: "Bye."
I hear the song "Ophelia" playing:
"Why would anybody leave so quickly for?
Ophelia - where have you gone?!"
I hope she's allright, wherever she is now;
she was a jewel,
Like a diamond in the rough,
she had so much creative potential...poems,
inspirational comments, pep-groups,
stories, journals, columns - so much talent
and skill now gone...
Taken by thieves in the night,
thieves that stole her self-confidence, no doubt.
It took very little to bring her
down, and a lot to build her self-confidence up;
Ophelia!
Where have you gone?
Author notes
for lemonTree, now BrokenOphelia
song reference to "Ophelia" by Robbie Robertson
in the movie "Maverick"
[I think there's more to it than
that; she's had major anxiety issues
in the past - maybe she's just
overwhelmed...or underwhelmed, as
the case maybe.] former 3rd verse
A contest entry
- ..tell me how you REALLY feel... by Sudo Nimh.
700 points, ended March 2, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I'm new at poetry; please be kind.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Absolutely perfect! Stunning piece, such exquisite flow and imagery.
-
...aahh, the quiet terror of losing a virtual friend to the void...i know this well..often i am that friend
i love that you love her so much..would that we all had someone like you to cry out at our disappearances...i think she'll be back..better than never ever before.
this was a really good read..made me realize the value of even the most distant and imaginary of relationships..thank you for the perspective.


-
oh this is sooo strange the poem I read just previous to this one was disappointment by brokenophelia... wow!
I hope she doesn't leave... I liked her writings. And boy don'tcha write wonderfully too. I bet she feels honored to have you as a friend.
-
How beautiful and what a wonderful tribute. She may be back yet. I took an at least 6 month break from AP and had to rebuild relationships, but sometimes it has to be done for various reasons, Mine was illness and pain; hers may be just exhaustion. I'm sure your Ophelia will be back.
***Rae***

-
SHAKEN
to the soul with this one bro
a real good write
I think there's more to it than
that; she's had major anxiety issues
in the past - maybe she's just
overwhelmed...or underwhelmed, as
the case maybe
but try to revise these lines
i think they are not coming along with the emotions of rest of the poem.....just a thought
cheers
ABYBABY -
-
I took that verse out and put it in the notes; could you tell me please if it reads better?
-
-
lovely poem, Sam.
changed my name again, inspired by you - you hit the nail on the head; there's more than meets the eye in what's going on behind the scenes...
1 - 7 of 7







