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Gone

You're not slipping away.
You've already gone.
Deserted me, here,
in this unfinished book,
Of what was supposed to be
'You and Me.'

It was drizzling outside,
when you opened the door.
That's when, my life began to crumble.
The rain began to pour.

The rain can't hide my tears,
streaming down my face.
Leaving only black marks
in two, straight lines,
proving to me,
nothing.
Proving,
only,
that you're gone.

I clench my fist,
lock the door to my heart,
and leave it shut.
No one in,
and definetly,

no one out.

 

 

-stepbystep-

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22
  • Full of deep emotions. I loved this.
    You've got a great talent at writing.
    My fave part: I clench my fist,
    lock the door to my heart,
    and leave it shut.
    No one in,
    and definetly,

    no one out.


  • Kathraina silver member
    April 15

    Edit | Reply
    Marvelous job with this piece.
    Great imagery and emotion invoked here.
    Bravo!!!


    ♥ Kate


  • cgirl0410 silver member
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    This is really good. Thanx 4 entering. Good luck! - cgirl0410

  • I like it.


  • Tqop
    March 22

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!

    Very sad, but very good, and very impressive. Nicely done. I like how it flows and how deep it is, and how it's worded so perfectly. It's so awesome. I awe at this pretty poem. Thanks so much for sharing.

    Evemauy


  • xmiasmatik
    March 10
    Edit | Reply
    Nice write. Interesting. It plied deep down.
    Thanks for entering


    • stepbystep
      March 19
      Edit | Reply
      plied? thats a word i havent heard in a while.

      thank you for adding that to my dictionary!

  • Very good write, I love the emotion, it's very deep and moving, I really enjoyed reading this! Great job!

  • Nice flow I like it. I must say apathy is one of my strongest emotions. I don't sujest it though you'll just push people away. I think there is someone out there for you. I hope you find them.

    My favorite part was:


    It was drizzling outside,
    when you opened the door.
    That's when, my life began to crumble.
    The rain began to pour.

    • stepbystep
      March 6
      Edit | Reply

      thank you,

      for your response. oh, and this was just random. i've never really felt this depressed in my life before. but thank you!


  • Ms.Daydream
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is really emotional! I really like the first stanza where you said about your book called 'You and Me'. So sad. It has a nice flow. =)
    Good luck in the contest! =D


  • SimplyClaire
    February 28
    Edit | Reply

    yeah this was pretty dang amazing dear! thanks for showing me this site :)


  • lovemuffins
    February 27
    Edit | Reply

    wow!

    this is really good. i am impressed b/c u are so young.

1 - 22 of 22