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A Contest

A Contest
Was held in a well-lit corner of a smoky bar.
The favourite, Jake - four wins
brown skinned pure brawn
sweat glistening on his heavy neck,
was waiting .

Finalist, Emmy Lou, 
Milkmaid, lovely as a buttercup
wildly confident, stepped forward,
the crowd roared.
She knew him well his skill was legend.
Undeterred by steel eyes and muscle mass
her long legs straddled him with ease,
she reined, knees dug in gripping his beefy sides,
stretching one arm in the air she hollered Yee-ha,
That old bull struck out like a lightning bolt,
doing his bronco thing for the crowd
he bucked jerked and vaulted,
twisting dipping every which-way.
Emmy Lou clung like a rag doll to the very end
and the roar soared.

My heart my friend, soared too.

Ronnica Feb 09

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Lyndon gold member
    March 30

    Edit | Reply

    Now THIS is unexpected use

    of the theme words!
    However, this narrative free verse has loads of atmosphere and is so memorable in its vivid image.
    I admire the way you handled the reins in this poem! Best wishes. Ron.


  • hawkeslake gold member
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    What a great story! I kept seeing images from "Urban Cowboy" the scene in the bar -- your words just come alive in this poem. A fine free verse, and good luck in the contest. In my mind, you have already won. Lita


    • ronnica
      March 3
      Edit | Reply
      I am so pleased that you liked this, it is great encouragement


  • albymyheart gold member
    February 27

    Edit | Reply
    The prise is Emmy Lou's eyes.
    Which erodes a soul to her demise.
    Is she the poker prize?
    I guess she knows amongst the lies
    she's not dumb, she's wise,
    But hither her soul doth guise
    eroded by songs that prise
    She sates the wanting guys
    detrimental to her rise.

    I have replied three times but the internet keeps cutting out. So before it does again. Let me say this is a great write. I could escape with Emmy Lou and see through her eyes. Should a story be told,. hers is one we need to realise.

    Great write...alby

    • ronnica
      February 27

      Edit | Reply
      he he
      You are a true poet, but then,
      I keep telling you so,
      You could elaborate on that you know.
      eroding souls are hard to keep,harder to hold.
      often deep not nearly so bold .





      • albymyheart gold member
        February 28
        Edit | Reply
        Ok, computer seems to be working, so I'll try again....

        I love the idea of the contest being on one of those mechanical bull thingys, it's quite a novel idea for the piece. I can just see her like a rag doll flopping all over the place. As for the free verse, I liked it alot and the poem was a good length. I'll give my crit via IM.
        Again, I love how you think to write on such a wide variety of subjects, good luck in all you do...alby

1 - 6 of 6