Your Very Own Autobiography

As you sit with pen
and paper in hand,
tears streaming down
knowing not to where they land.
Voices about you screaming
and lost to time,
please follow me today
and do as I do as I write mine.

I shall begin from the first day
I remember you see,
a time when I was playing
with dolls with such glee.
I was one who sang
a song all the time,
and my mom always said
you are always so happy
and  I'm so proud you are mine.

First day of school
and I had to go real bad,
Mama told me just raise your hand
and she will excuse you that's a fact.
Only she didn't and I was
so embraced that day,
when I tinkled myself
and it ran down my leg.

Many years passed where
happiness was in the lead,
I learned something new
every day it seemed.
Part tom boy part lady
with love and respect for all,
then my teen years came to call.

Feeling I knew it all
and stopped listening in time,
would do things my way not realizing
I was causing the tears in my eyes.
Trying to follow my friends
for what they thought meant so much more,
than my parents at the time
I felt like I didn't need their advice anymore.

I had friends who came to school,
so upset and hurt in many ways.
Time stood still and I so tried
to help them find their way.
Looking back at my family
and the love so shared,
brought reality into view
and it so made me aware. 

I so learned how the hands
of those who loved
me reached out each day,
And how even strangers at times
helped me find my way.
Friends are great
if they bring you joy indeed,
but their are friends who aren't friends
that want's you to help them
supply their needs.

I found out my inner peace
brought me laughter every day,
I never needed the drugs
to help me find my way.
Some of my friends would ask me
what are you on?
And I would just reply
inside is where my happiness is grown.

I am at peace with myself
no need for such things as drugs,
I prefer to be happy and free
rather than never getting enough.
Happiness is within us all
we just have to set it free,
and know within this world
to be happy you have to follow rules indeed.

Now yes I have had my days of grief
and many tears did fall,
I did things I swore I would never do
only one day they came to call.
We each find in time where our world falls apart,
but you must reach deep down inside
and get to know your own heart.

Through my sadness
one day I took a deep breath,
and I sat down and wrote out
my autobiography you bet.
To see how with your own two hands
the direction you so chose,
it will help show you it's
no one else's fault but your own.

For those who were brought up
with violence and pain,
Lost within a world of destruction
you feel alone and ashamed.
Honey know it is not your fault
the tears you so shed,
for in your life as you grow up
you become the leader you bet.

So as you leave the old sorrows behind,
written within your autobiography in time.
Place it in a safe place and move forward today,
take a deep breath and get up for a brand new way.

Open up your room
and let the sunshine in,
look back at your school pictures
before you changed and go back there once again.
For change is not always good
if you are trying to be someone else ,
for it leaves the happiness you so carry
drawing dust on a shelf.

Now as you move forward
leaving the pain behind,
be yourself and meet to people
that are loving and kind.
For don't you see you can be the leader
of your very own friends ,
and know you wont have to play
like your someone else ever again.

You see honey the one you so locked within
holds the joy and the laughter within,
so bring him or her back with a grin.
You can dress up and wear piercings and odd clothes indeed,
but until you return and be yourself
you will never be free .