I approach on my hind legs like a human,
Though I cannot help leaning forward,
Ready to pounce, on the balls of my feet,
The man cries like a baby when he’s gored.
Why don’t they run and save themselves?
Covered with fur; long teeth in a wolf’s snout,
It must be clear that I am the werewolf they fear,
Yet I move through the city, walking freely about.
A werewolf stalks the city, the newspapers report,
Bloody corpses torn apart with teeth and claws,
Many have heard him at night, howling at the moon,
Yet I walk down the street and they do not even pause.
I yank a pedestrian into an alley when no one is looking,
Breaking his neck as I go, I pull him behind a dumpster,
Powerful jaws snap his bones; my fur is splattered with blood,
If only he’d seen I was in wolf form, he’d have run for sure.
It is daytime; I’m back to my human form. I turn on the TV,
One of my kills was captured by a surveillance camera,
It shows a wolf with matted black fur and a pointed snout,
Tearing some poor girl to pieces; her name was Tamera.
Bored, I turn off the set, do my laundry and take a shower,
It’s been a long night without sleep, so I retire to my bed,
That afternoon I’m arrested. “If you knew you’d been filmed,
Why didn’t you run?” I see now: the werewolf was in my head.
Author notes
This one was inspired by Queen's poem, TRANSFORMATION.
In a list
A contest entry
- What Kind of Monster are you?? by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended April 15, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A MONSTERS POINT OF VIEW (DARK WRITE) by redmoonnrizing.
1500 points, ended September 22, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Interesting point of view. The Werewolf in the head... yeah, that gives the myth a new twist... and the Werewolf has always been a symbol for man's murdeous rage. Nice job with the story.
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A chilling point of view! I love werewolves though I never really knew why they only tore the throats out of their victim but didn't consume the body? LOL...Great piece!!!!
Thanks for entering and Good Luck in the Contest! -
this is really freaky. especially how it's psychological. this was a great wrtie... maybe your best. good job!
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Thanks, Kat!
Do you really think it's my best write?
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Great Job
Wow yikes a werewolf in your head now that is scary!! I have many things in my head, but none of them are a huge monster that runs around a city and slaughters people. Lol I love this story slash poem, for you really did tell a great story. A man so apathetic to slaughter done by his own hands. It makes you think what could have happened to turn him into such a monster. He obviously thought he was a true werewolf. Then again the surveillance video that is an odd twist. Was he seeing things there as well, or had he really succumbed to a half beast half man persona? You really know how to leave your readers thrown through a loop. I think this captures some great classic horror elements , and yet still manages to through in just the right amount of new material that it makes it seem new and fresh. Werewolves are hard to make new and exciting. They tend to be cliché, and perhaps have been done way to much. I think you should make a story based off of this! I sure the heck would read it. Tell his whole turning into the monster he is now, his decent into the evil abyss that has trapped him, and perhaps tell how he came to be the cold bastard that he became. I think that would really attract a ton of readers. Science Fiction has a huge following, so does horror for that matter. I would watch this on the big screen that’s for sure.
The Positives:
Like a said this is a very great poem slash story. You defiantly seceded in capturing the audiences attention. I loved the brutality in this it makes you realize just how far this man has sunk into the pits of pure evil. The utter insanity to think himself this hideous monster, and to do all this absolutely terrible things ( all at night I take it), and yet still think himself a normal human by day. Even doing such mundane task as laundry, and dishes!!!! I must say that was quite a twist. You really make the reader want to dive into this mans head, and see just what makes him tick. The cold way he tells about it is particularly chilling in my opinion. It really sent shivers down my spine, and it gets creeper the more you think just how likely something like this is. There could be some psychopath out there that really thinks he is a werewolf, and then goes on a killing rampage. Makes as much sense as any serial killer really. They are all just completely insane in the end, just like your character. Great job!
The Negatives:
My first gripe is WHY ISN’T THIS LONGER!!!!!!!!! Okay, now that that is out there I think it is too short to really do your poem slash story justice. Maybe this is just the greedy reader in me, but I truly wish you had done much more with this. The potential is defiantly there I think you would be wise to go back, and do more with this. Also I have noticed some rhythm issues. It doesn’t really flow all that well. I would try reading this out loud to yourself , and see what you can do to improve it. I was really so distracted by your story though I didn’t pay much attention to that, but the issue is there if you the creator chooses to fix it. I wouldn’t worry with it I think this is great as is. I just wanted to give you some constructive criticism to help you make this the best it can be. I really hope you go back, and improve upon this. I really enjoyed it.
My Favorite Part:
“ Bored, I turn off the set, do my laundry and take a shower,
It’s been a long night without sleep, so I retire to my bed,
That afternoon I’m arrested. “If you knew you’d been filmed,
Why didn’t you run?” I see now: the werewolf was in my head.”
The end really threw me through a loop. I had to read this several times, because I really couldn’t believe it. Though it made the rest of your poem make more sense. I was wondering why no one realized ‘Hey there is a huge hairy monster eating people off the streets. Geeze, perhaps we should do something about this.’ I just had a jaw dropping moment. I love surprise endings! Can you tell? Lol
Overall:
This is a wonderful poem overall I would give it a seven out of ten. I really think you could turn this in to a solid ten with a bit of work and dedication. I hope you really do more with this. Great job! Thanks for entering in the contest. I hope you enter more of mine in the future. I am going to go ahead, and add you to the finalist list. I hope to have this contest judged today, but if I don’t this way I can recall why I liked it so much. Thanks again for entering!
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~
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Thanks, Apathetic Poison!
I really apreciate that you took the time to write such a long and insightful commentary on my poem! I'm definately going over to your page to check out some of your work!
Yes, I think I will take your advise and expand this into a short story.
Incidentally, I have a short story in my journal now, if you are interested: Welcome to Hell!
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Sounds pretty scary, i wouldn't want to meet a werewolf in a dark alley
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Thanks, Queen!
Yours was scary too.
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Oh wow I really like this. It's so creepy, in a good way :]. I like werewolves actually
Anyhoo, very nice poem. I liked the ending. x3
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Thanks, Audrey!
I always thought that a physical transformation into a wolf and back again was a bit improbable. Having the transformation all in the guy's head just made more sense to me.
Also, it's scarier. A wolf could never hunt in the city because EVERYBODY would be shooting at it. And if it takes silver bullets to kill it, then people would just buy silver bullets.
But if the werewolf actually looks like a person, then he could sneak up on his victims.
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This is absolutely brilliant! I love it!
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Thanks, Nudul!
You're too kind. Absolutely brilliant? I think I'm blushing!
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