Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Savior

What do I see when I look at you?
I see a lover, and a friend.
But when I look in your eyes
I see a shattered soul.
A little child beaten, battered, abused
Your whole life.
I want to hold you high
And steal your pain
I want to kiss your eyes
To help you forget,
To help you be alive again.
I want to erase your scars
To ease your pain
I wish the past full of betrayal
Will leave you be
So you can breathe again.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • Rots Alot
    March 23
    Edit | Reply

    You have a way of bringing life to self despair and don't we understand that you become addicted to the pain. Sometimes you just need it so you're not so fucking empty!


  • XeroStrife
    March 20

    Edit | Reply
    Nice poem. If I was to suggest something, it would have to be some imagery. Like something this hurt person has gone through.


  • PhadraigMcShane
    February 27
    Edit | Reply
    I like it.

    I like the idea of wanting to save someone from the depths of hell, save them from misery and hurt.

    "I want to hold you high
    And steal your pain"

    reminds me of lyrics from a song (i can't remember the name right now) so possibly changing these two lines to get away from sounding like thast song..?

    Good write.