I wish I had an angel
To guide me through
to help me when things get tough
and maybe say 'I believe in you'
I wish I could live up among the stars
watch down on my friends
And ask them to follow their hearts
Because 'I believe in you!!'
I wish I could make myself happy
And my friends too
I've such a great crowed
But I wish life wouldn't be so cruel
A contest entry
- Give Me Your Best Prewrite! by FluorescentFixation.
1200 points, ended August 4, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 10 Options {Pre-writes aloud} by Little Lesley.
700 points, ended August 28, 109 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes by WordsAndWits.
475 points, ended August 21, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites, Im crazy. by Menna.
1100 points, ended August 30, 264 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I loved it. It's such a perfect piece! One thing I would like to say. The title doesn't match very perfectly. It should be something like 'I wish' or somthing like that. But the first 2 paragraphs have the word 'believe' in it which is great. But apart from that - it was great!
Wish you the best of luck!
♥~Little Lesley~♥ -
I like the message you share with us in this. I think you meant "crowd" instead of "crowed" in the next to last line though. Thank you so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest... Scott
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this was cute I think L3 should have an 's' at the end of "thing". and I don't really understand the line "I've such a great crowed", but that's just me. sometimes we all want to feel reassured that the people we care about believe in us just as much as we believe in them. These are things that aren't addressed often enough, so thank you for sharing
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I enjoyed reading this. it was well written! WOW! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
P.S. Great emotions and fantastic imagery in this piece.
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good
some times i feel this way but it will get better i promise it took a while for me to realize that and things are just starting to get good exellent write though
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Thank you again xx
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This is so blue, you know I am feeling kind of blue right now and well this poem just hit the emotional spot.
Thank you so much for sharing and God bless.
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Nice, I liked this.
Thank you for entering.
Good luck. -
Yo, I think you did a nice job but you probably should've continued. You could have gone much deeper with this but you kept it light. I related but the connection could have been much stronger but I still enjoyed it. Thanks for joining my moresome.
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great write.
thanks so much for taking the time to enter,
good luck. -
"I wish I could make myself happy"
Its harder than it sounds huh? For some people it just comes so naturally and Im jealous because I have to try really hard to be happy. A character flaw maybe? I dont know
but I can relate♥ good work
SarahInWonderland-x -
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Yeah... It is hard. Im always trying to be someone i'm not. And trying behind this brave face. Yeah, very hard.
Thanks hun xx
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beautiful
i could really relate to this one! its like i sat there and helped you write!
-Bella -
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Thank you. x
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This is a gd write, Random can allways be good!!! thanks for the comment on my poem.
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Thanks for your comment. x
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Awesome :)
Awww, this made me get tearsss. I can relate so muchhhh.
Wonderful jobbbb<3
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Aww thank youuu so much! x
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To guide me though
did you mean through?
thank you for reading my writes and the comments you have left. you aren't so bad yourself! viyanna rosemarie
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Yes, thats what i meant. Thank you.
Thanks for reading :-) x
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