Blood red rain hides my tears,
The howling wind takes away my scream.
Walking alone down this long winding track,
Looking over my shoulder at the mindless shadows surrounding me.
I cowered in shame as your words hit,
Again and again I cried for you to stop the pain.
But still you battered me black and blue,
Whilst yelling that I was weak.
My trembling lips meant to still my fears,
Unworthy of your love I would seem.
I often wondered if you had my back,
Will you ever just let me be?
The house was only dimly lit,
The night you tried to drive me insane.
I had to leave because of you,
Truth I knew I had to seek.
You drowned your sorrows in bottles of beers,
You never cared to be a shoulder upon which I could lean.
I tried to make up for the things you think I lack,
Tried to be the person you wished you could see.
You thought that you had such great wit,
But your words only served to maim.
I stayed out and watched the settling morning dew.
As frozen crystal tears laid to rest upon my cheek.
Author notes
Winged Unicorn. The rhyming scheme is a little strange I'll admit but that's just the way it worked out.
A contest entry
- Make Me Cry!!!! by DemonicChanel420.
400 points, ended March 9, 2009, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round contest number one (prewrite) by serenity silvermoon.
510 points, ended September 25, 2009, 111 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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wonderful
poem
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I love the flow and imagery in every line, beautiful work, good luck.
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Wow!
"The house was only dimly lit,
The night you tried to drive me insane.
I had to leave because of you,
Truth I knew I had to seek.
You drowned your sorrows in bottles of beers,
You never cared to be a shoulder upon which I could lean.
I tried to make up for the things you think I lack,
Tried to be the person you wished you could see."
This is amazing, I love these lines, great job, I really love the way the flow and everything just clicked and worked like this. I think you have earned a spot in the finalists list, this was really very good. I love it! -
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Thanks
I'm glad you liked it. When I first noticed the rhyming pattern I wasn't sure it would work but I think it worked out alright and I'm so glad you liked it : )
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