I reached out my hand
to lift a star from night
and covered myself in silver glow
from the deep inviting skies
to the watch pocket near my heart
I held a piece of time, close
and the wish for forever
became a prayer for this night.
Heavens whispered on wandering winds
that came near but did not touch
my simmering soul, for I was at peace
with all I had ever wished,
all I had ever wanted
and simply opened my eyes, to dream.
In a list
A contest entry
- A Mountain Revelry by truembrace.
700 points, ended March 20, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Gave me much to think about.
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At first I wasn't sure I liked this, but I read it again and I love it. Really nicely done. Great imagery.
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lenn shannon sats
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simply beautiful last tine i felt like that it was to do with love but your words are everlasting . well done hey!
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such a soft and beautiful voice in this with such perfect wording. so much to like about this poem and the form works perfectly as well. lovely indeed.
Kim
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Such a heartfelt piece with simple, beautiful imagery. So much of this speaks to me of taking hold of that which is far from us, and making it our own. To "hold a piece of time," a star, is really a fascinating idea, but one you make seem wholly attainable... and in these lines, not just metaphorically.
The language... especially of the second stanza was so soft and lilting (the W's and S's added to that effect) and just rolls around on the air when you read it. I love the fulfillment of that conclusion, the realization of wholeness, and potential, without lack. Beautiful.
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Awesome
Beautifully expressed, moving.
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Cool
This is really imaginative. It's really enjoyable and gets me thinking.Great job!Have a nice day -
Feels like having the dreams all the time without realizing it, until feeling at peace and waking up to visualize the dream.
Your poem has a very soothing tone and lovely thoughts.
So enjoyable
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Aww I just want to lay down in your words and dream... beautiful
Love,
Stacy
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Beautiful poetry, especially those opening lines - and the last line too!
~ Nicolette
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I love the night sky!
This poem so reminds me of a poem by Langston Hughes;
"O, sweep of stars over Harlem streets,
O, little breath of oblivion that is night.
A city building
To a mother's song.
A city dreaming
To a lullaby.
Reach up your hand, dark boy, and take a star.
Out of the little breath of oblivion
That is night,
Take just
One star."
--Langston Hughes, Stars
Many of his works spoke of us dreaming and reaching for stars. He would be very proud of this body of work, as am I. You always seem to write from the heart and soul. A dream like this is worth harboring, day and night.
Beautiful!
Much Love ♥
Renee
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That last line, blew me away.
Your words are like a much-needed salve.
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Ah, this is touchingly
soft.
The metaphors are beautifully expressed— each with as ‘knowing’ and as a ‘dream’. The first stanza, to me, is not of ‘any’ night and time, but ‘that’ special one— discovery is bathed in experiencing. Flowing gently into the second stanza, the dream comes to fruition, yet not without a decision. This is more than a ‘description’ of a dream— a realisation that dreams hold serenity and contentment, as well as the discovery to live them. I so enjoyed this write.
Blessings. Frans
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Franz-
so good to hear from you... i had a feeling when i wrote this, of a night on a mountain, as a boy... a campfire near a cliff ...and with no land in front of me..the sky seemed so close, it might be touched; so easy as a child to imagine these things, and to feel at one with nature... so much easier then... anyway, thank you so much for reading and taking time to leave such a thoughtful and kind comment...PK
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