Do the eyes see the colors of spring
or swallow them as shades of ice?
When tears turn to flakes beneath
the skin for tracing mourning's river beds,
can the flower fields be anything else
than snow stolen dunes?
Do the ears hear the birds sing,
when the soul is a banshee in white
with blizzards and hails in her screams?
Does the skin embrace warmth and light,
when February touch cradles your loss
like a newborn?
Does the old man live...
when his world is winter and
every thought is lost in perma frost?
A contest entry
- February Moon And Frost...An Old Man's Winter Night Semi-Quickie by Blue Rew.
1025 points, ended March 3, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Such thought provoking imagery and questions, that are difficult to answer. I especially liked your second stanza the best, although the whole piece was spectacular.
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Such visionary phrases chill the soul and the eternal question is left unanswered.
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Thank you for thinking so high of me. Always appreciated.
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This was like a peek into a mind pondering questions, a privilieged look inside someone else. Like NS, I especially liked the line about February touch...
My only teensy suggestion is to remove "the" from these three fragments:
do the eyes, do the ears, does the skin
It is an excess word, IMO and the lines will tighten up by that simple cut. Purely my two copper tho!
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And your copper is valued like gold. Thank you for stopping by and commenting.
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I just love the ending here. Such great questions, not really needing concrete answers.
I liked "tracing mourning's river beds" and "February touch cradles your loss like a newborn" I always like poems about winter and frost, this one was a joy to read.
KW~
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Yes, I somehow find more to write about when winter is involved and I am glad that you enjoyed it. I had the chilliest time discovering these images. *smile*
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In reading this beauty I found myself pondering the questions but not required to answer them. It was like being a guest listening to musings that came deep from your soul soul.
I thought this poem was excellent! Loved reading it.
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Thank you! It was quite easy to write. I think that questions in poetry help it, when you are clueless about a certain topic and want to let inspiration come on its own accord.
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I like poems that ask questions. But it would be nice to see a few answers too.
"You decide, says the poet.
You do some of this work,
but think carefully.
Some people want to believe
poetry is anything
they happen to feel. That way
they're never wrong. Others yearn
for the difficult:
insoluble problems, secret codes
not meant to be broken.
Nobody, they've discovered,
ever means what he says. ~ L. Rabb
I do like the allusion to winter. Lovely writing here. Good luck in the contest.
~ crisstiena ♥
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Thank you very much for the comment. I usually don't ask questions in poetry, but with this poem it came all in questions, so I am in new territory. Better to convey despair for me personally, but everybody has their preferences. Excellent quote.
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STeller ending line...
It is original and expounds this questioning verse
beyond its ending. I have always been partial to poetry seeking response and this one is a beauty
with its intent to seasonal metaphor and clear
edge of sorrow.
This is an attention grabber with such imaginary phrases~"when February touch cradles your loss"
"skin for tracing mourning's river beds"
but the ending remains my favorite as it seems to echo your opening.
What a being is refusing to see is the possibilities of life renewing and so the end explores a bit of
the reason why~Numbness has set in and the Will
has become frozen by some past season of pain.
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