Loneliness is a scab.
that we pick at incessantly,
because it is easier to bleed,
than to simply inhabit a
dried up, loveless husk.
Scars are road maps
etched in our flesh,
that should guide us back
to truer paths of love
without detours
and dead ends.
Needy flesh is a coat,
our souls are forced to wear,
for quite a interminable time,
far too often as strait jackets,
that binds us to solitude,
sealing the wings that
would let our spirits soar,
across waves of possibilities
left immobile.
Love is a band-aid,
dressed with soothing balms,
softening the scabs,
hiding the scars,
and letting us shrug off
our coats of needy flesh,
to bathe in the rapture
of two souls set free
in one timeless flight
to heavenly bliss.
A contest entry
- [♥] quickie [♥] by my.stars.dont.shine.
1400 points, ended February 27, 2009, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I love this...And I think the comparisons made here are very appropriate.. Nice job!
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This poem describes how love can make a person feel in a wonderful way. Well written. Congrats on the trophy
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"in one timeless flight
to heavenly bliss"
i just love the ending
very quickly, i got ther message
it's an interesting read
i sorted thru a number of different emotions
but
by the ending, it seemed oblivious what's going on here
and
it does take a certain bit of talent, poetic license, cunning and charm to do this
the thing is i felt awkward by the ending
love is, for sure, one of the most popular themes
poems, movies, books, "love letters"
i've found the ones i like most are the works that portray it positively
your negative denotations of the theme bring out the opposite of love
of course, t's america
freedom of speech, land of the free
but
that doersn't mean i have to agree with what you write
good work
issue that needs attention
excellent
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Superb
'tis a very fine write, just as it is. I found it to be most intriguing. You have expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing.
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Okay, I didn't understand the repetition of the word flesh. I got that you were taking about masks, or a coating, but the use of the word in ever stanza threw me a little.
I love the opening stanza, especially the reference to picking at scabs.
Cannot stand to leave it alone until it heals. The very last stanza was the best to me.
Love,
jin
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This is fantanstic, you captured all the cogs of love beautifully. This was another seamless poem by you. Congratulations to you on the bronze
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Stunning
Love is blindness
I don't want to see
wrap the night around me
take my heart
love is blindness
love is clockworks and cold steel
fingers too numb to feel
blow out the candle
love is blindness
love is drowning
a little death without warning
...love is blindness
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I really like this and like the third stanza the best. Great write.
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Needy flesh is a coat,
our souls are forced to wear,
for quite a interminable time,
far too often as strait jackets,
that binds us to solitude,
sealing the wings that
would let our spirits soar,
across waves of possibilities
left immobile.
awesome write done here.....loved these lines especially.....really capturing......good work mate
cheers
abybaby -
I love the title which really grabbed me.
The metaphors in this poem are really something special. The scab analogy is such a good one!! (I may be biased as I used it once in a poem called "picking."
Congrats on the well deserved bronze trophy in the contest. This is the second or third poem of yours I've read recently, and you are clearly a talented writer.
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Beautifully written
I really love some of your metaphors here, especially the one about the scars being road maps to love - leading us without detours or dead ends. This is really a gorgeous piece.
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Oh this is wonderful! I loved it. Thank you for writing.
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loved the idea of loneliness as a scab and love as a band-aid.
very sweet and touching and relatable ideas.
i especially liked this part:
sealing the wings that
would let our spirits soar,
across waves of possibilities
left immobile.
very nice write. -
exquisite and superb
breathtaking...
"Loneliness is a scab.
that we pick at incessantly,
because it is easier to bleed,
than to simply inhabit a
dried up, loveless husk."
I've got to quote you on this simply because...I'm in awe with its definition through your words.
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I adore the imagery and metaphors. So creative! Excellent take on the prompt! Thanks for entering and good luck!
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Excellent imagery!
You've got some really marvellous imagery here.
Line 4 - spelling alert
Good luck for this!
Cheers
Sandy
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