My friend,
whom I have reached for and missed;
you who are so magnetic
the raw elements of my flesh are drawn in;
it seems peace is not metallic.
I have left a note on every leaf
sure to meet the rain,
so they will run for the lee side of your chest
and quake,
and everywhere you walk,
people will stop, gaping,
"How colourful he is!
How he sounds like the breeze!"
Would you be soothed?
If I feed you the roaring, dancing
children of my heart,
will you sing?
Oh, that I could return this delicious, furious stickiness
you have given me and fill you to the
corners of your stoic smile!
Then I could hear ten thousand miles of sky
scream victorious and know,
you are free and at last, alive.
Author notes
for "my heart friend"
A contest entry
- Winklings # 168 ~ For members and Allpoetry ~ Free Verse anyone? by Lyndon.
1750 points, ended March 30, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Wow. It certainly deserves this gold trophy!
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Thank you
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This is a beautiful write. You have crafted it with vivid and interesting words.
Congrats on the Gold.
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Thank you!
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This is so beautiful, it is the kind of poem we all wish someone would write for us so we felt a little less alone in the world, such masterful words you chose here for you heart friend. Best to you fine poet
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So many ideas here, I'm very impressed. Love and loss together are a difficult thing to master, but it is done with gratitude and compassion.
"delicious, furious stickiness" is terrific.
Congratulations!
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This poem is a fine example
of original, invigorating free verse. Imagistically marvellous, it opens a palpable world that shapes and impels its life-force and theme.
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I have left a note on every leaf
sure to meet the rain,
so they will run for the lee side of your chest
and quake,
I love that part! Absolutely perfect write(:
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'the raw elements of my flesh are drawn in...' that line is so so powerful. There's such a quiet pleading to your words. I felt this
Love,
Stacy
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There's nothing to say except this is simply fantastic! So many images danced through to me and I had to sigh at its beauty! Loved this!!!
~Kimberly~
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Simply, complexly done.
I have no words to express the wonder I fell at reading this. I think the first I have read of yours and going straight to my bookmarks.
Buddy
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Thank you, Buddy
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"My friend,
whom I have reached for and missed..." Between this gentle opening and the final roar of release you have wrung out your heart for the world to see. Sheer ache, sheer honesty!
Perfect to the prompt and the friend...
A masterpiece...
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Would you be soothed?
If I feed you the roaring, dancing
children of my heart,
will you sing?
I'm singing.
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Got lost in this, in the best way possible...deepy stirred by the inagery.."If I feed you the roaring, dancing children of my heart, will yiou sing?" This "feeds" me, made my soul ache to take it in....drowning in such an exquiste poetic death right now....(bookmarked)
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what a wonderful comment. thank you
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I love your imagery...it floats and leaves such a heartfelt feeling.
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thank you!
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Very Very Nice
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thank you
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This is wonderful!
It is different for you - but in a good way. It felt so oddly serene, confident.... full of smiles.
Or is that me projecting again?
I love your descriptions here. The images you write are amazing.
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