She steps into the small pool of light,
the barrel cascading down her small, slender lips,
teeth clenching around the outsides,
smile imperceptible.
[&there's a choke caught in my throat,
saliva spilling like alphabet soup,
drenching the corners of my lips,
mixing with the words I never said
&the ones I swore I would.]
The sensation trickled through her pupils,
full of bickering,
quivering,
flickering defeat,
like the "deer in headlights" look that echoed resistence in his voice.
[&you laughed your stupid fucking laugh,
it electrified through the cracks in my lips,
the relunctancy dying down my hips,
&the emotions that made me want to rip your skin with my bare teeth.]
like the lightbulb gaging through her eye sockets,
she fell for the insecurity flecks in his retinas,
like the shadow puppets their hormonal bodies would make,
she lay in the residue of his sweat patterns, forever.
Author notes
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelll.
lol.
This was an interesting poem to write.
No lies.
Playlist:
Pushing The Shine by: Lovedrug
Feeling This by: Blink 182
45 by: Shinedown
Dead by: MCR
A contest entry
- Contest Best Prewrites From February 2009 by amaranthine lover.
1125 points, ended March 12, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - infinite spaces between atoms by whiterabbit..
500 points, ended April 15, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
pushing the shine.
Comments
-
I like the way that you've written this. The descriptions really add a lot. I also like the tone of this. Thanks for entering.
x -
This isn't dirty.pretty. I'd take a look at other dirty.pretty poems here on the contest to grasp the general idea. Dirty.Pretty, as someone put it is the manipulation of words using punctuation to make words even stronger. Although, I did like the poem. The imagery in this was strong and so was the emotion. It has that erotic feel, which I was hoping you were hoping for that
. Thanks for the entry though.
Josh
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