I awoke this morning to a robin egg blue sky frosted with red, yellow, and orange swirls. I raced around preparing for two busy days, one at school and one at Grandma's. Trucks, books, training pants, gym clothes and many other things squirm into different bags. Ready. Time to awaken my fair-haired manchild. I study him first, inspecting not-quite-ripe-tomato cheeks, lashes long enough to butterfly kiss, and pure, flawless sculptured lips. His mouth opens for a perfect pearl oulined yawn. Eyes flash and then hide from the luminous light invading the dappled dalmation dwelling. My hands tickle as my cherished child chuckles. A laughing, lyrical little boy voice says,
"Mommy, you make me funny."
Author notes
I am entering this first as this is my favorite.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
This really captures a moment in time wonderfully well. I especially liked the line, "not-quite-ripe-tomato cheeks" for the imagery it offered.
-
I think this is good. It's a good idea and it's fun to read. Some of the diction could be better and the way it's structured is dificult to understand and follow. If maybe you seperated it better then it would be easier. But overall I do think it's good. Well done. ~Des
-
Prose ? Yes ! Good ? Yes ! I like it. Your descriptions make it easy to see what is going on, even from the other side of the world. Enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing.
-
I've read this before, and, viewed as prose, it is very good. Hard to believe he's all grown up now isn't it. I can picture this happening, and even if I was a complete stranger, I think I could, because it is incredibly full of imagery. Great job mom. Write some new stuff! Practice makes perfect!! Love ya,
Victoria.
-
-
Thanks
This has always been my favorite. Did you get the whole dappled dalmation thing? You still have those sheets. I love you too. Mom -
-
Actually I didn't get that. I still use my 101 dalmation sheets too, thank you very much.
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
