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Duplicity

Tonight you called me
and we chatted away
like two old friends,
skipping around the important parts;
that dance that's ours alone.
This dance of ours;

forward and then back,

forward  and then back.

I am becoming quite tired and footsore.
okay, well, maybe not quite that dramatic,
but you get the point.
Oh, actually, you probably don't,
come to think of it.
You specialize in ambiguity,
lies, hurt and cowardice.
Tell me: Where were you
the night I almost died?
You didn't even call.
I've wondered, since then,
if you're a sadist or just a narciccist.
You  definatly have a God complex.
I've always been unwilling
to think that of you,
but now I  Know -
you were alway just a boy

who enjoys the dance.

Author notes

Finding out that your lover is still just a careless boy at 30 is really a downer, but a lesson well learned.

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • tombruize
    March 14
    Edit | Reply

    VERY nice write...

    Good job... Ah, the dance...


  • dabpunx
    March 12

    Edit | Reply
    i feel you on this. i liked the repetition and the dance metaphor. from a failed relationship i learned that i had some of those flaws i was only 20 at the time but flaws are flaws and i definitely learned the hard way to humble myself.

  • Awesome...

    Strong narrative that is reflecting in its realization & captivating in its telling... A compelling piece that is moving in its profound honesty...
    Keep up the good work...
    Well done!!!


  • amartya
    February 26

    Edit | Reply

    FaeRae

    I'm not sure if commenting on a piece up for contest is a good idea.

    I usually don't unless the piece is worth a praise.

    This is certainly one of them.

    I agree with the fact that often we come across people and misunderstand their closeness as care and even love.

    Such misunderstandings lead to our over involvement in activities with them as if to be with them is more important than ourselves.

    The realization of this is very spirit dampening indeed.

    Well written again.

    Respectfully,
    Amartya