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hb...I Hate Your Way

Missing image

In your time you come to me

when pretend love is hidden lust

with embellished words of kindness

where I heartily place my trust

 

With forked tongue you speak to me

as I submit to loves forceful lay

your cold hands manipulate my flesh

you make me hate your way

 

In the darkness crystal tears are shed

for the way you possess my mind

demanding I perform forbidden acts

your hateful heart thinks I am blind

 

I hate the way you express your love

believing you're a pimp and I a whore

stupid and crazy am I for loving you

you leave again and my body is sore

 

 

Author notes

(NOT ME)......

In a list

A contest entry

welcome all comments

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • SteveS gold member
    June 23, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I like this very much, especially the second stanza. Change "preform" to "perform" I think. Smooth read.


  • Walking Oxymoron gold member
    March 26, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    I like dteh rhyme scheme you used in this, it gave the piece a natural rhythm.

    I'm liking also the imagery you use, crystal tears are shed- I like that.

    The lack pf punctuation made it a difficult read for me... I know it's a style on here, but (purely IMO) it doesn't do it for me.

    However, the wording makes it a beautiful write indeed.


  • AllexisReed
    March 20, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    This is such a beautiful tragedy. Very nice job

  • A floatingleaf silver member
    March 2, 2009
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    thanks to all who commented...

  • Liquid memories
    February 28, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    truth you have shared. many are like wild animals, feasting on the loves they proclaim, in reality, they desire the flesh only. o love do they want, not caring how it pains another. This made me think about myself and how i treat others. thank you for this loving write of feelings.


  • LittleMoon silver member
    February 26, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Many women will understand every word of this write. It is not the sort of thing you tell many people about so it is always comforting to know that you are not the only one who have allowed love to mess up your body and mind. Lucky you that this is just writer's imagination. Well done Sheila


  • arafura
    February 26, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Very well written. Good luck in the contest.

  • Revwilliamfoos
    February 26, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    I could feel the pain in this one my dear keep doing well
    love the rev papa

  • Bob Fox
    February 26, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Poet

    You knowin life this seems at time paramount to a relationship & I have alwayd found that to be so very sad. I think this is a must read for so many. Well done & honest.

1 - 10 of 10