This brothel is some sea
across which lie
the teeth of Wimbledon-passion
never shaking, never weaving:
always steady.
Was there a man, that real
(and I) - not so that all around seemed false,
or that he lacked any goodness
but that everything was real,
all books and angels and gardens, -
he'd float away from me
like some balloon, I'm sure.
For no matter the plume,
if the sea rises, if the sun rises,
if I'm entranced by anything at all,
I'll still not reject an ugly town
when a good place slips out
of the crosshairs.
Betrothal is rape, says (what a traitor
I am)
and, No world shall piss on me.
This is the punishment
of all blaming, true beings:
that we'd be happy just to know
that they were, or weren't,
but in the end
were needed enough to make them
quite impossible.
Author notes
http://allpoetry.com/exit-de-jugador
Man v. the Supernatural
"There is a house in New Orleans
they call it the Rising Sun.
It's been the ruin of many a poor boy;
dear God, I know I'm one."
A contest entry
- Unplanned - Round 3 - BONUS by Ryno.
525 points, ended April 19, 2009, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is exactly where your abstractness and provocative style comes in handy. You pulled this piece off so brilliantly because of it.
The poetic tone had attitude and power to it - you manipulated and molded your own scenarios... it was wonderful.
You didn't use as much "pure" imagery as you normally did, yet through the voice of the piece, I was able to picture what was happening...
Brilliant, genius concept... a powerhouse of a story behind it. -
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Thank you so much! i'm really glad you liked it.
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I think the concept behind this was quite unique - quite different. But there's something about the tone of voice that this gives off that doesn't really grab my attention.
I loved the second to last stanza - especially where you go with "Betrothal is rape" - it really sounded like genius - if I've ever heard it.
Amazing work.
Chandni -
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okay i should work on the voice of it, i see. i'm glad you liked that line
thanks for the encouragement!
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