Though sleep had fled, I closed my eyes.
I'd given up my futile tries
of counting sheep; and so instead:
I closed my eyes, though sleep had fled.
There in night's still, a whispered drone,
of shadow, shade, of wraith unknown,
spoke to my thoughts. "Submit your will!"
a whispered drone, there in night's still.
He wove a dream into my mind
and used the lull of words to bind
my consciousness. Desire as theme,
into my mind he wove a dream.
I could not wake, although I tried.
Through endless scenes I seemed to glide,
a spectre there, ne'er to partake,
although I tried. I could not wake!
All in a daze, I woke from rest.
Enchantment burst at sun's behest,
into a technicoloured haze.
I woke from rest, all in a daze.
In daylight's hour, like grains of sand
the visions fade within my hand.
Night's dreams became, without their pow'r,
like grains of sand, in daylight's hour.
Author notes
Swap Quatrain
The Swap Quatrain was created by Lorraine M. Kanter.
Within the Swap Quatrain each stanza in the poem must be a quatrain (four lines) where the
first line is reversed in the fourth line. In addition, line 2 must rhyme with line 1, and line 3
must rhyme with line 4 and so on, BUT not repeat the same rhyming pattern on subsequent
stanzas.
Rhyming pattern: AABB, CCDD, and so on.
Is there anything that doesn't flow right? Tell me so I can improve it.
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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ah, very nice swap quatrain. Very well done. Thank you so much for taking the time to enter. Excellent work on this and I wish you the best of luck in my contest
-Steve- -
impressed!
I've learned something new today....and very glad this was showcased; it is a delight to read.
Darmok
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Speachless
after i read this...i was totally speachless!!! i loved the rythem and theway you phrased things. Beautiful.
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You captured a perfect mood for insomniacs, written as a dreamlike state. This form could become a favorite after seeing how well it works. Appropriately spotlighted!
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wow very well written very expressive and as far as i can tell it flowed well...fabulous
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A wonderful poem and a masterful handling of the Swap Quatrain form. I have written several myself, as well as Swap Octets, so I was especially impressed with your terrific piece.
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i like it. i especially love how you incorporated old english spellings yet still portrayed the poem as modern. best of luck!
Raven Evangeline Nevermore
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had not heard of this form, but it is hypnotic and beautiful, don't touch a thing!
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WOWZA!!!
This is publishable good. You must be a professional writer. Excellence of one with writing talent to spare and share.
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Wonderful
As several others have mentioned, I have never heard of a swap quatrain. However, I find it most intriguing how well your subject goes along with the pattern. It was very creative, and I enjoyed taking a moment or two to read it. Great work!
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Great
I like reading form poetry, especially when the poet uses an atypical form.
Well done, I really enjoyed this.
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I've never heard of a Swap Quatrain, but this is beautiful. ^.^
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A very thoughtful work, a rich
tapestry of gilded words, and
now I know a swap quatrain ,wot it
is, it is delightful, thank you -
Oh, this is sensationa! Wonderful! Hypnotical! A beautiful and lullying piece of poetic sorcery! This is why poetry is written and why it is loved so much!
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This is fantastic! I thought I was the only one on AP that wrote Swap Quatrains. I think you chose the perfect subject for this poem because the meter matches the content so well. It has a sing song sleepless meter. What a joy to read!
Love,
Amera♥
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Yeah, I like to have a go at different forms...I just wander over to shadow poetry and have a nosey at what forms they have there and if one catches my muse, I write.
I wrote this late last night, so I really was feeling tired. It was supposed to be for a contest, but I realised just as I posted it that I'd gone over the 10 lines they requested...whoops.
Thank you for reading! Dari xxx
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Yea, sometimes these contest rules hinder creativity.
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Wow! Beautiful work here! I had never heard of a Swap Quatrain, You explained it wonderfully though, I really enjoyed the content of this piece as well, The form was well versed and drove the meaning home! Great work here!
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I've not been able to write properly in a long while...so I'm feeling a bit tender about my work. Your words are so encouraging and positive! Thank you!
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This is an interesting form that you have written
in here. I don't think that I have seen it before. I enjoyed reading it and thank you for sharing it with me here! Take care and keep it up!
Jeremy0826
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Thank you for giving it a read! I really appreciate it! Glad you enjoyed it! Hopefully this will mean my poetic muse has returned! YEY! xxxxx
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