dear you,
i found you hidden under a dying sky, and you taught me things. useless things mostly, like how a dragonfly has a life-span of twenty-four hours and how pearls melt in vinegar. i don't think you knew that you were making me sad.
when you saw me crying, you started to say things to make me smile. giraffes have blue tongues. no piece of paper can be folded in half over seven times. butterflies taste with their feet. i forced a smile and emptied my heart to take you in.
but there were some things that have stuck with me ever since. from you, i learned that the right lung takes in more air than the left and that the average person falls asleep in seven minutes. we fused under the east-side sunrise and fell in love with the idea of wasting away.
it's okay that you never liked the ocean or holding hands or things that sounded lonely, because i never really liked your obsession with my glassy eyes or the way you swore on everything but forever.
your fingertips used to shake when you were sad. one day i saw winter in your eyelashes and i wanted to see how long it would take to melt, but you blinked and all of a sudden it was gone. i forgot to keep breathing. my hands are still cold.
please, just tell me it's okay that my scars still ache. tell me that you dream in technicolour too, and that you drown in the seconds of silence before people say, "i love you." maybe it's my fault that the band-aid never fit right over all of our wounds, or that my name never tasted right in your mouth. or maybe it's okay that sometimes, all i can do is hold on.
i think eventually, you just realized how easy it was to breathe without my heart in your chest or my weight in your lungs. you told me that you never loved me and you left.
you're the reason i fold paper compulsively, the reason why pearls and dragonflies break my heart. you're the reason why i time how long it takes for me to fall asleep and why i've tried to trick my heart into falling to the right side of my ribcage, so my left lung can finally breathe.
maybe if i can prove you wrong in one way, it'll prove that you really did love me.
do love me.
love
me.
Author notes
i drew you a picture of a dragonfly so that it'd last forever but it flew away when you did.
A contest entry
- what if it all disappears in the shadows that reach for the stars? by etoile.
700 points, ended March 20, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I was yours.
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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i'm trying to stop writing such cliche comments anymore, so i'm going to start writing emotional responses, than plain compliments. haha. it shouldn't be hard though, because this poem made me feel so much.
i love how you write. that may sound weird, but i seriously do. it's easy to relate with, because of it's vulnerability and power to make you break down and cry, because you know you speak the truth.
you don't hold back and you still make my lungs stutter today. your like an inspiration to me.
by the way, your author notes are stunning too.
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aanika, you are so beautiful. even though you might not believe it.
your prose always breaks my heart, but in a good way - i promise.
i have no words for how much i adore your prose. you make me feel.
this was gorgeous, love. i can't even pick out a favourite part.
you are an inspiration to me. <3
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This is incredible
Mind blowing
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wow, how did I miss this?
I've never seen this. I was blown away. this is just amazing. all over. jeezus, aanika, your writing always shocks feeling back into me and makes me be able to feel emotion, it always balances me out, either takes me from numb to feeling or from over emotional to realising.
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i just tried and couldn't get it past six folds.
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this was great i especially love the ending. trying to prove everything he told you, wrong. keep up the great work
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Your prose is like that of a seasoned 29 year old writer who is writing about her memories and wishes from her teen years. You are either the most imaginative individual I know {and you may very well be!} or you have had an extremely disturbing amount of life experiences... your prose abilities are simply stunning....
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This is so incredibly beautiful. Beyond any words. It's filled with an anxiety and sadness, but at the same time, it lifts me up to see how well you have turned even a painful loss into something so breathtaking.
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the way you swore to everything but forever.
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that hit me really hard for some reason.
but anyways, i adore this. it's beautiful and incredibly sad. i loove all the imagery.
this doesn't suck at all, it's one of my favourites by you.
you're the reason I fold paper compulsively, the reason why pearls and dragonflies break my heart. you're the reason why I time how long it takes for me to fall asleep and why I've tried to trick my heart into falling to the right side of my ribcage, so my left lung can finally breathe.
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that was incredible.
thanks for entering -
Are you kidding? This is powerful this is riveting- its mind blowingly good. This is how I want my writing to sound but it never does.. Just wow!!
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sucks? are you kidding?
this is brilliant.
like i can't even express how beautiful
of a poem this is, it really touched me
and i can relate very much to this
you capture minds intensely with this
poem and left an impact on my heart.
so much emotion hangs from your words
that i cried.
this was breath-taking -
I have to say, this piece is really good. In a refreshingly unconventional way.
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"I found you hidden under a dying sky, and you taught me things."
=]
"I forced a smile and emptied my heart to take you in."
So honest
This nearly made me cry, it's wonderful
Shelly
x
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this is beautiful.
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I think this is one of your best, you unwarranted-ly self-deprecating wildcat.
"dying sky"
Explicitly stated - love it.
"useless things mostly, like how a dragonfly has a life-span of twenty-four hours, and how pearls melt in vinegar. I don't think you knew that you were making me feel sad."
I LOVE useless information because I always feel it'll come in handy someday, if only for a good conversation starter with your own brain. The useless facts you chose really tie in with the poem.
"no piece of paper can be folded in half over seven times."
OH man, I learned this last year...
and tried to prove the theory wrong.
I couldn't.
"or things that sounded lonely"
LOVE.
"because I never really liked your obsession with my glassy eyes"
I really like that line, but your eyes definitely aren't glassy. I like the phrase "I never really liked" - it sounds colloquial, but not in an uneducated fratboy way (not that there's anything wrong with that - I talk like one...)
"you're the reason I fold paper compulsively, the reason why pearls and dragonflies break my heart."
I think you could afford to lose the 'why' there - reason already implies a 'why' ...
==>you're the reason I fold paper compulsively, the reason pearls and dragonflies [can] break my heart [the way they do].
Feel free to ignore my suggestions.
The 'maybe' there is so hopeful...so sincere - I adore its placement.
I love the word 'maybe'.
And I definitely don't fall asleep within seven minutes...well, not when I'm sleeping - naps are a different thing because naps are desperate.
That's enough about my nocturnal sleep cycle - I like this poem a lot.
;
Jessica
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wow.
this was just too stunning.
and I agree with Angela.
if it's written by you, it never sucks.
ever.
<3
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this is so beautiful, sweetie.
I don't think you've ever written anything that sucks.
ugh, why must you always blow me out of the competition. xP
<3
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