Sometimes, we hang upside-down
on life’s un-parallel’d bars
in muffled sound
with hidden scars.
Or vault over mountains
just to drown in salty lakes
fed by crystal fountains
whispering our mistakes.
Bar’d from perfection,
silent residents
in creviced protection,
unwitting merchants
sell themselves short.
Needlessly they repel
gaining naught,
unable to foretell.
Perchance, the earth saved us a dance?
As she coils ‘round
zephyr’d elegance.
Her wispy, whisking abounds
for it's she who leads the pace,
guiding a rhythmic flow,
dancing face-to-face
within her loving glow.
An astounding feat
surmounting the torrid drum,
fumbling to one’s beat
unhealed scars that left us numb.
But as sensations rise,
a path appears before
we gather thoughts to realise
there is something more.
The wind eventually settles,
we're ground’d in the earth;
reforming our mettle,
reclaiming our berth.
Then all that was is free
as the distance greets a new
day, and eyes to see,
that which we already knew.
Author notes
Hello readers. This is one of those 'from-the-guts' pieces that I had really enjoyed writing to. It is the first (full) collaboration I've done with albymyheart (one of my favorite writers on AP). I am very honored to be writing with her on this piece. If I had written it alone, I would most likely place it in my 'Thought Retreats' category. Thank you in advance for the reading and hope that you enjoy.
Comments
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This is unbelievably great you guys!
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Exquisite write. Your words so wonderfully displayed and with great depth and impressive flow.
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Thank you very much. I see my collaborator beat me to the comment here (smiling). Thank you for such a fine comment. Glad you enjoyed it...its' "depth" came from alby's pen (
).
AsIThink... -
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Well, so far I find you both brillant writers.
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Thank you for your lovely comment...alby
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I love the way that this is written!!!! This is such an amazing piece!!!!! I love the way that your words are written and I love the rhyme!!!! This is truly beautiful!!! You both did such an incredible job with this. I love it!!!! Hugs to u both!!!!!!!!
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oops! Sorry Jewelcat, I missed this comment. Thank you very much for commenting on this and I'm glad that you haven't bored of visits to my page. In this rare event, I had the wonderful pleasure of being able to write with alby and it was a great experience. So happy that you think so highly of it.
AsIThink...
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you do well together
I always appreciate your word choice it shows your dept
rhythmic flow that may be what we're missing, I guess to look and learn
stunning delight to read my friend
God bless you both...
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Thank you very much PR...glad that you enjoyed this piece. It was a pleasure writing with such a talented poet. It is wonderful to me, that though we've never written together this piece turned out to be a personal favorite of mine. I appreciate the kind words here.
AsIThink...
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I really enjoyed this piece. I especially liked the last lines. Your wording is eloguent. Nicely done.
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A gift here, a gift there...just nice to share the love. hahaha...Glad you liked it...alby
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Thank you very, very much. It is important to point out that this is a collaboration. And it is my view in particular, that my collaborator (albymyheart) has brought her gifted quill to cyberspace with her fluid, decisive penning.
AsIThink...
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i really like the languge and beauty within this page. thank you for sharing it and your talent with me today. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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Yeah, he's pretty good you know. I'm sure you won't be dissappointed...alby
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With these beautiful sentiments, come anytime (haha). Your kind words and view of this does my heart good. So glad you enjoyed our collaborative effort here.
AsIThink...
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very good, i like it
the wind, the stars, the sea
a wonderful read
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Thank you for reading and commenting...alby
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Thank you so much. Your remarks make it feel better to me. I am very grateful for them.
AsIThink...
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Excellent collaboration!! Great piece and the final stanza just seals it all together...mal
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Thank you...Glad you liked it...alby
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Hey, hello there mal. Very good to see you here. Wow, I love your excellent compliments. We've laughed about this (alby and I) receiving such nice remarks on our very first collaboration together.
AsIThink...
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Kudos.
Nice Write.
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Thank you so much for the reading and comments. Glad you liked it.
AsIThink... -
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You are starting to sound like me AsIThink. Lol...alby
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LOL...I guess it's all about the company you keep...lol.
AsIThink...
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Wonderful flow of words, I liked the detaile work. Wonderfully written. It was very much a pleasure to read.
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Thanks so much...alby
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Thank you for the reading and for bringing a smile to my face because of what you've just said...alby and I have never written together before this but are fans of one another. This was amazing to hear.
AsIThink...
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if im not mistaken
i see gymnastics, dance and music references...i like them, and i like this piece as well! thanks for sharing this with us!
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Yes, there are gymnastics, dance and music references, glad you noticed them. Thanks for your comment...alby
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ah-ha...you have excellent vision apparently. Even I didn't see that (smiling). Thank you for such a wonderful comment. And you are certainly welcome.
AsIThink...
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Beautiful
You have a wonderful sense of rhythm to this piece that just threw me into it. You also used one of my favorite words, zephyr. Our whole destiny is always right before us if we would just trust the pain will stop and wisdom start. Perfect.
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Thank you for seeing into this poem as you have. Reclaming oursleves, from ourselves is exactly what this is about. And the word 'zephyr' is out there for all to use, (but personally I think it should be used sparingly) ...alby
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I love what you had to say about this. I love the word "zephyr" also (which is why I borrowed its use from my collaborator's title of her earlier work, "When Zephyr's Die". If you haven't read it, treat yourself...you won't be disappointed. Here's the link: http://allpoetry.com/poem/4896489 ) And your comments are very moving. Thank you so much.
AsIThink...
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Insightful-Inspirational
To comment in depth would be to write volumes. You written volumes with few words, Bravo!
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Thank you for this lovely comment Howard. I am glad you liked it...alby
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Oh wow...this is very humbling to read. Thank you tremendously. Without alby's help, this would have been just another piece to add to my list of work. Your words are themselves inspiring.
AsIThink...
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Wow. this is a fantastic and beautiful write. True and inspirational. I love it lots. awesome xoxo
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Thanks...alby
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I'm so glad that you think of this piece the way that you do. We've enjoyed writing it. What wonderful compliments.
AsIThink...
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Wow. All I can say that possibly even measures up is simply, wow. Really well done. Great job.
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2 "wows" in 1 comment, huh? Here's one refunded (): Wow, this is such an inspiring, kind comment. Thank you very much for reading and saying how you felt about it.
AsIThink... -
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It's really awesome that you guys take to heart the comments people leave. Lots of people don't, and that's just frustrating that the effort put into commenting goes unnoticed. Thanks for noticing. And for writing. Keep it up, please and thanks!!!! =)
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Well then: Welcome to "alby and AsIThink" style...lol. Just kidding. Yeah, people do maybe not put much into return comments. Hope you won't let it distract or discourage you. You are very welcome too.
AsIThink... -
Thank you for appreciating our responses. It is the least we can do for generous feeback offered by kind people like yourself...alby
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Your speechless comment speaks volumes. Thank you so much for what you have said...alby
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This is just so pleasing to the eye and ear! Wonderful rhythm, absolutely precise rhymes without being "sticky", and a lovely metaphoric image carried flawlessly to the end. It made me think of the Mexican Bats which fly out at dusk from the main bridge in Austin, Texas, literally by the tens of thousands, into the beautiful orange and blue sun-kissed, earth-twirled sky. Unhealed scar tissues are actually insensate, so the image of emotional hurts causing numbness is just so apt... Altogether an impressive collaboration by two of my favs!
Lita
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Awwww...Get a load of THAT AsIThink...We are her two favourites!
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment Lita. I love the picture you just gave me of that awesome sky. Thanks...alby
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Wow...Thank you hawk. [Especially for us being 2 of your favs...]. What a fantastically uplifting comment; an inspiring compliment that almost shames your previous comments. I am so amazed and inspired by your words and that jaw-dropping image-rich description of the sky...I have to defer to what alby said. I have a huge smile of satisfaction pasted on my face.
AsIThink...
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Superb Plus
A very fine collaboration, indeed. Imagery; rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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Your are very, very welcome. Thank you tons for this reading and your wonderful feedback. It is so nice to read/hear/know.
AsIThink... -
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You are quite welcome.
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This is
outstanding you two!! as if i'm surprised!! it clearly was expected when i realized i was reading from not one, but two of AP's best, and certainly i'm a huge fan!!! o nice to see neither of you let me down.. seemless writ my fav. peeps!!!
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Mr. Swanbird...thank you very much sir. Glad that you liked this so much. Outside of that "5 Elements" collaboration last year, alby and I have not written together before this piece (even though I love her work so much). So naturally I'm happy about how this came out...
AsIThink...
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Thanks so much for the 'seemless' comment Happy you liked it...alby
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You and your collaborator are a wondrous team! This poem is seamless and shares with the reader a joyous play with words. Exquisite! You two need to do more of this.
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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Thank you for saying such wonderful things about our collab...alby
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Ahhhh. You really do say the most supportive, inspiring things. This comment certainly no exception. I have not checked with alby but I don't think more collabs will be a problem. Thank you so much for touching me with your kindness and sincerity.
AsIThink...
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