Historical Repetition

I run my fingers along the dust ridden books
the leather bound essence of a time forgotten
up at the top a red book stood alone
the title not visible through the film of decades
I reach up blowing off the protective glaze
holding it between my fingers and caressing the cover
I open it and flip through the yellowing pages
words for sentences, paragraphs, chapters
Footprints left in the sands of time
displaying a life forgotten through the fog of my mind
Chapter one: Negativity
Chapter two: Death of Innocence
Chapter three: vulnerablility
Chapter four: all alone

As i read through the chapters, word after word
emotions flood back nearly stopping my heart
I put the book down and sit in a nearby chair
weeping into my hands wiping dust from my hair
the realization that my history constantly repeats
took my breath away and stole my spirit
The footprints left in the sands of time
make figure 8's in the past present and future
vulnerability leads to loneliness
It happens time and again
I sit wondering when the next round will begin
I'll stay as long as i can
fighting the past till i die
but its inevitable ...
i'm gonna end up alone.