I speak your name again

It is so often that I speak your name.
I say I do not love you.
Love is but memories that have been and are yet to come.
The names that are spoken in anger and haste are the ones we hold so dearly to us.
It was once said to me that you hurt the ones you love,
and if this is true I must hold a passion for you because of the enormous amount of pain you have had to endure to love me.

I do not want to hurt again, but most of all I do not want to hurt you my love.
I have protected my heart from many of your kind.
It has served me well to keep my passion minimal for the one that I truly love,
and to let it flee untamed against the others until their hearts bleed from the pain that I have suffered.
I want to inflict agony upon those who do me no harm because of the disgust that has fabricated inside of me.

Do not be afraid of my loneliness; nurture it and feed my addictions.
When I become content with my surroundings, then I must be watched with a piercing eye.
For that is when I become more restless.
I never want to be comfortable with what I have; life would then  be over.
I will say to you I love you once again.
Do not betray me nor make me feel a fool for loving you again.
My venom is fiercely toxic after it lies inside of me to ferment.