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Soul-Mate

You are the only one I have been looking for
deep in the woods,
you have been right in front of me all along.
I don't have to wonder anymore,
because I know you wouldn't leave.
I have been watching you for a long time now,
Like a guardian angel.
Seeing how she put you through misery,
I have helped you out of that hole she forced you to dig;
The one she pushed you in.
I kiss you so softly,
because of the passion we have together.
You finally told me you liked me since last year,
I have felt the same for you
but never had the courage to tell you.
Then, our friends told me I had to tell you before it was too late.
My heart sank to those words,
thinking...what if I already lost him again?
So I got enough balls to tell you,
and the very next day,
you asked me a question that I thought
you would never have asked.
You saw no tears but I did,
I was crying on the inside,
finally feeling the joy
that I have been looking for...
for so long,
and just seeing you happy with me
and not in the misery of what she put you through.
It brings happiness in my eyes,
I was your friend,
then became your best friend,
then we dated,
and it's come to an end;
You are my
SOUL-MATE!

Author notes

Tell me what this made you feel and how I can make this poem better for anyone who feels the same way that can relate to this. I know alot of girls feel like this.
Tell me what I fix about this poem

what did this poem make you feel

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Ryno
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    Lots of raw emotion... you've really dug deep to bring these feelings out of yourself, and for that, I applaud.


  • Jae
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    i changed it around a little, fixed the grammatical juxtaposition with the commas at the end of every line, i personally believe i made it flow better, but i saved the old version in update history if you wish to change it back. i didn't change any of the content though, i just personally think that you could have used stronger words to try to describe what you mean and use less explanatory words, such as "because", ect. you don't have to explain yourself to your readers. you also might consider not telling it in a kind of story, using "then" all of the time, but that's up to you.


    • leftdying
      February 26
      Edit | Reply

      thanks

      hey it sounds so much better now thank you for helping me out because I needed it. my soul-mate is right here next to me while I was reading what you fixed he has not said what he thinks but I think he probably likes it either way but hey you are way better at this than I am. Well thanks again and I hope you keep helping me out. g2g
      Love your friend,
      Lysa Marye Spiess
      I hope someday it will changed to Lysa Marye Richard lol.
      See ya


  • Triami Arack
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    I think that all of us feel this way once in awhile, guys feel this way as well, I know I have. An excellent write.


    • leftdying
      February 26
      Edit | Reply

      yeah

      I agree its just more of females feel this way then dudes do. That is why I put girls on here than I do with dudes but my boyfriend read this poem and said the same thing you did.


  • The Jester
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    WOW that is a awsome write I feel what you are sayin that is wow
    no words can explain that keep it up

    • leftdying
      February 26
      Edit | Reply

      thanks

      you are a true friend I hope you got the message about your poem

1 - 7 of 7