The young man didn't know where he was going
but he knew he was going
he was going somewhere
up or
.
.
.
down
One of the two...
and very very quickly
He could only see the people yelling
He'd broken the speed of sound
He was done with what he had
and he would do what he had to do
to get what he had to get
to find that thing that he had to do
And in time he might forget
to forget
"Tautologies notwithstanding."
He thought to himself and laughed
at his funny old parachute
and prepared for the market-crash landing.
In a list
A contest entry
- expectations by Majija.
550 points, ended March 7, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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good poe
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"Tautologies notwithstanding." Well, there you go! An effective write. Thanks for entering.
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I love your abstract penned beautiffully , congradulations on your trophy silver excellent 2nd place. Good luck on future contests you deserve gold. Thank you for sharing, I really enjoyed it.
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oooh!
this definatly put a smile on my face. for me personally, i kinda got the feeling that i could just go out and do what i want without caring what others see or think, excellent!
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It seems a lot of people like this write. So I'm the oddball that just didn't like it for whatever reason. I wouldn't take offence to that, I'm insanely hard to please and I don't please myself with anything I write. Judging by the outcome of all your readers you need not change a thing.
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Different strokes for different folks! I respect someone giving an honest opinion much more than false praise anyway ; )
And despite your name, I didnt detect any malice at all so Im glad you just took the time out to read it.
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Hey duck, this is a really good write.
wonderfully different.....
Was looking for something with sparks of passion for this contest is all
but I wish you much luck with this write
x
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Amazingly done.
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Abstract
Great poem abstractly penned. Very interesting and unique.
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Yep, a cool poem, I like the end very much, nice work!
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This is wonderful and extremely unique. I haven't seen anything like it. Good job!!
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Hmmmmmmmmm
It is just about the stoch-market, right? -
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Its basically a self motivational speech to myself. Its about how to achieve success sometimes you have to be aware that your life could actually end up worse than if you didnt really try in the first place.
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Interesting
To say the least. Its a very interesting poem. It definitely makes one think. Thanks for sharing.
*~*Night Mistress 1*~* -
Oooo I loved this! Especially the first 10 lines. Amazing work.
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hmmmm
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so well done. wow. loved the knowing of where he was going... up or down. no in between. the forgetting to forget takes on a meaning for me as if we think so much about something thatwe can't get it out of our head... it almost drives us mad. that happens in all aspects of life, i think.
and the ending had a lighthearted bit to it, covering the darker meaning.
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Very nicely worded and such a great piece. This was extremely deserving of the silver that it won for you. Great work here. Love the pic.
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this is really, really good poetry, i love the play on tautologies within the poem, a great title, voice, and story, thanks so much for entering the contest!
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wow... I really enjoyed reading this one. It is written in a different way, but still got a nice flow.
I especially like these lines:
"He was done with what he had
and he would do what he had to do
to get what he had to get
to find that thing that he had to do"
This stanza is what gives this poem justification in this contest.
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I liked this one, man! I agree with 'writebrain'. Awesome choice of words! Thanks so much for a great share!
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hmmm...i read this a coupla times to really absorb it.
" Tautologies notwithstanding."
pretty words.
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