The Emerging Tempest

Eyes heavily lidded,
slowly falling,
spacing out,
mind, gradually deteriorating,
gaining weight,
physical condition makes its decent into the realm of couch potatoes,
sleep becoming more a prison then sanctuary,
Chinese twentieth century history ambushing me,
intellect fading as the dramas and mangas take over,
my style loses its structure,
my hair sheds everywhere,
both disgusting and disturbing me,
as the pressure and stress increase,
snide remarks about my unemployed status become more frequent,
cutting to the core of my very being,
they tell me I am nothing,
that I am useless,
that I will never stick with Mandarin,
they force me to continue with the hated French...
I withdraw further into myself,
longing for catharsis,
for support and encouragement....
my strength fading,
how much longer I can last is anyone's guess,
trapped in this torrent of conflicting emotions,
sensations and criticisms.

I raise my face to the sky,
and let go,
for what else is left?