este cielo despejado
no es espejo de mi alma.
la paz azul del horizonte
no puede acallar mis truenos.
mi brújula se estrelló y
desnortada, me adentro en la tormenta.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Dear Emol, I was quite moved by your poem and as I pondered what to say I scrolled down the page and snooped at your other reviews on it. And now I am sad to admit that I have been tittering irreverently over 'babelfish's' "translation" of your poem... Oh dear...! It shattered the dignity of it! But see, you do a really good job of translating your poems - after all they are your thoughts and you know how to express them best in either language; so you should just post them both in Spanish and in English to begin with!
Just so you know... this was an incredibly appropriate poem for me as far as subject, tone, feeling, message and timing. So in spite of the Atlantic Ocean (who ever would have thought I'd have to say this?!) separating us, I'm with you. Ojalá pudieramos sentarnos juntas en el sofá y sentirnos un poquito consoladas por el compañerismo la una de la otra.... A big hug for you <3
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Hm. Quit tittering. And you heard what I said, I hate seeing my Spanish poems in English. They seem stripped of any dignity they might have had.
But I'm glad you liked it, even though that means you're feeling desnortada (have a kleenex Dear)
I wish, more than anything in the world, that you were here or I was there! I feel cruelly lonesome without you. (I think I feel another poem coming on )
XXXOOO!!!
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Emi
Un amor asi nos deja sin rumbo fijo, a la deriva.
En aquellos momentos levantamos la mirada para fijarnos en los cielos y las estrellas para guiarnos.
Chiquitico pero poderoso poema. Me gusta mucho!
John-Nevada USA
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Muchas gracias John.
Hay momentos en que parece que no valen ni las estrellas, tan grande es el dolor y la sensación de estar, como has dicho, a la deriva.
Pero seguro que con el paso del tiempo, uno vuelve a mirar los cielos y a buscar su rumbo de nuevo.
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Now look at this Emi, this is babelfish's translation (be prepared to laugh, don't be drinking anything when you read it! lol
"this cloudless sky it is not mirror of my soul. blue La Paz of the horizon it cannot silence my thunders. my compass crashed and desnortada, I enter to me in the storm."
I can see that you have some depth there, it's shows the contrast between what seems and is. But babelfish makes it fairly unintelligible. Have pity on a poor friend and translate it for me, even loosely.
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This clear sky
is not the mirror of my soul.
The blue peace of the horizon
cannot still my inward thunder.
My compass shattered
and, northless, I enter the storm.
(Northless in Spanish means to be disorientated, to lose one's bearings.)
Hopefully this is somewhat better ... even though I hate how a poem written in Spanish looks in English
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I have had my frail little shelter let in ruins by such emotion maelstroms
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That was fast!
Much better. You should write in English once in a while.
See, I understood the first line wrongly when I tried babel. This speaks of the indomitable spirit within, the knowledge that a thing may be difficult, but shall be attempted all the same.
It's good, and even when I've used babelfish before on your poems I saw the beauty of your words...ok, not this one, Babelfish really mangled this one!
Thanks!
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I'm wheezing with laughter! I know, babelfish is frightening! Wait a minute and let me think up a slightly better translation
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I will read it tonight, I'll bookmark the poem. I'm off to work in 5 minutes.
Thanks!
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