The guilt I feel
never heals
it goes on and on
for a pain long gone.
When I stop to think
I make a drink.
I told you once
I've but only love
to offer you
and by God,
I wish it weren't true.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
This captured a lot of emotions that many can relate to in a short, well written piece. Nice write here.
-
-
Thank you!
-
-
I've read a couple of your poems now, and I've liked 'em all. This is the first I have something aside from praise for:
Reading it out loud, it sounds better (in my mind) if lines 8 and 9 were changed to:
I have only love
to offer you
Actually, line 8 is fine either way now, but line 9 I think taking the second 'to' out helps.
Thank you for sharing this and others.
-
-
I'm sorry if I didn't reply to this, I was a little swept away with notes. You are completely right. The flow is off at the end. I shall have to tweak. Thanks for the pointers.
Rae
-
-
A very good write.
Guilt, the past and pain stay with us like an ever present ghost at our shoulder.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
