Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Yesterday

And all the little pieces
Of your life packed up
In cardboard boxes
Seem to mean nothing

Moving on or just moving again
Drifting on through
Endless hours
Like waves pounding the rocks
Smashing themselves to oblivion

Skimming over the same emotions
Actions and words, over and over
All seem incomprehensible
All glassed over, distant dreamlike

Fingers balled in a fist
Trying to let go
Trying to open up
Trying to move on

Author notes

from 05, edited and posted

A contest entry

critical review

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • grammabuff
    March 29

    Edit | Reply
    Oooh, Buff the nit-picker is back. I believe the last line, 2nd stanza should be "Smashing themselves to oblivion".

    Other than that, this is outstanding! Emotional, lyrical, honest. Love it. Buff

    • Thanks again for the time an effort in pointing out these mistakes for me. Its of great help and i appreciate it.


  • Still Standing gold member
    February 25
    Edit | Reply

    Glad you did

    How many times have I been here!! Looking around running from the pain (first instinct) the part I like:

    Moving on or just moving again Drifting on through Endless hours Like waves pounding the rocks Smashing them self to oblivion

    What a fantasic image! Thanks for entering and good luck


  • darkheart76
    February 25
    Edit | Reply

    great

    loved the emotion