In a large white room
a lavender and Ammonia tomb
hope to departure soon
a horror movie tune
the monster has arrived
the tension it alive
I hide behind the bed
decapitate my head
the women has a smile
say "this SHOULDN'T take a while"
the needle comes to sight
along with my fright
i stumbled and i fell
in this hospital hell
the needle in my arm...
it hasn't done much harm
A contest entry
- Antici...pation. by Thom Boulton.
550 points, ended February 28, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I really like this poem. You set the scene and how you feel, you then move on to the actions. As the poem moves on your feelings become part of the scene and objects within. "the needle comes to sight, along with my fright" I really pictured your emotion entering the story with the needle. Be proud of this poem, it is very emotive and capturing.
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When the blood lab gets me in their lair, they make me recline on a special medical bed because they know that I will probably faint. I almost fainted from reading your very true and clever poem. 
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Chuckling here because you bring the moment to life in such a real way, I can even smell the ammonia/alcohol and feel the chill of the chair they make you sit on. Thank you for reminding me in such an impressive poetic manner. lol
COOL POEM! 
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This is pretty awesome! IT really embodies the fright felt and it flows really well! Great write! Good luck in the contest.
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