I'm catching onto you;
you like to see me suffer
You make me fall for you
then watch as you rip away, all
the things i care about
Then, when I finally
start to move on
you come back into my life
and do it all again
Rinse, lather, repeat
You love every second
of my misery
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Ouch... All too familiar!!
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Yes, the sadist that is the succubus. I've found myself wiglling on the head of a pin as a woman watched me writhe a time or two. Glad I'm not alone in that. No matter what men may think, women ultimately hold the high cards.
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I definitely know people like this, there are too many of them out there to count. It's unfortunate but true.
Thanks for the comment on my 'Severity.' Thought I'd come check out your writings.
Life is complicated, especially when it involves relationships. I guess we just have to get used to it all, ey.
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Great expression
While your poem is brief- it packs a punch- and I like how you are actually using punctuation in the beginning of it (maybe a period at the end- and/or a dash in a spot or two for emphasis. One thing I'd love as a reader is to see this girl- what is it about her that drew you in? The poem would instantly become more complex if you made it a touch ambiguos in places- I'll give you an example as if I were writing a poem about a cruel but sexy man: "If only you would leave/ the taste of your skin,wouldn't burn, my tongue- "...I dunno, just maybe a little something about what intrigued you about her. And then the bite of her cruelty would be even more cutting. But don't get me wrong, I think this is an excellent write just as it is, too.
Yours,C -
four poems in a row....and each one is better than a giant bag of M&M's...grrrr...I have such an addictive personality
Laney
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I think we've pretty much all had lovers like this... and a majority of us have been like this. I know I have (unfortunately I was something of a serial heartbreaker when I was younger
)
But you know what, Matt? I think you're strong enough to withstand this. I think you're wise enough to be able to stand there and say "you're not going to do this to me, no matter how much I love you."
People who I thought far too weak to take such a stand finally did... and we're all better off for it.
Excellent write!
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thank you for the kind words.
I feel like you're only a victim if you allow yourself to be. I'm not a weak person, I just don't always think with the right head lol -
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I have to agree there, and I can definitely see how you might use the wrong head - most men do
Wanna hear a secret? Some women think with their desire instead of their intelligence too!
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This is from an observation point, an uncomfortable feel. the repetition and the wait for sadism to calm, wow, breath taking.
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Wow
This is totally and utterly amazing. I love the part You make me fall for you then watch as you rip away, all the things I care about. Very well written. -
god how I can relate to this. but you have captured it so well here. I love the line "rinse, lather, repeat" bc in reading it it makes it feel like they do it as easily as washing their hair. Love it!
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awesome..short simple and so true lol good job
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Oh yes, it seems a never ending cycle of pain sometimes, you captured the raw pain of heartbreak in this. Well done.
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Great
"Rinse, lather, repeat"
This line is way cool!!
Great ideas here!! -
Wow!
That's got a really powerful message. A lot of people are like that. It's completely true. I've experienced the same thing, so it was interesting to see this
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you know this is my style!
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