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past tense

She stood at the
Edge and thought
"It could have been
beautiful, it could have been
wonderful, it just could have been."
In the distance, a
horizon blurred by
jealousy, self pity,
painted in all the
hues she had painted
him in.
Toes
curled around the crumbling
ledge, the smooth Italian rock
cool against her bare soles.
Her bare soul aching. The
wind, acerbic and tearing straight
through her.
"Maybe I could fly, if I tried, I know I would."
She
took a step,
took a breath,
took a minute,
wished she
could take another year.
And that was too much.
Step up.
"& Jesus Christ, that should have been me."

Author notes

and when he woke up and eight-oh-three, he knew. "it was. it was always you."

picture:: http://x-horizon.deviantart.com/art/I-can-Fly-25057711

me:: http://allpoetry.com/trinsa

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Comments


  • heavenbird gold member
    March 17

    Edit | Reply
    Emotion: 15/20
    Spelling and Grammar: 9/10
    Effectiveness of Title, Beginning and Ending: 8/10
    Personal Opinion: 7/10
    Creativity/Originality: 8/10
    Relevance to Picture/Rules: 10/10
    Imagery/Metaphor/Poetic Devices: 7/10
    Structure: 4/5
    Diction: 5/5
    Line-breaking/Flow: 2/5
    Impact: 4/5

    total: 80/100