Once, around nine years ago,
I was a fun-loving young male dachshund pup.
My fur was short and red,
my nails shiny black.
I was great to be around and happy
until the day of doom for a dog.
My owner decided I no longer needed my balls.
Glory be, was I ever terrified!
Of course, they put me to sleep.
I felt so sore when I awoke.
I even went through a time
when I liked boy dogs in THAT way!!!
I'm still unsettled about the whole sex issue.
I punish my owners by behaving in a docile way.
No more playing or looking cute,
just nine years of being a lap dog.
Yes, I hear them reminiscing of the past
about how cute I was
when I jumped and twisted my long body
as I played with the cute kittens.
I have to make up for not having balls
by bullying big dogs.
They can tell I'm extra angry at life.
They back off.
Well, this is the way it all happened
and I'm sticking to it
balls or no balls.
Author notes
POW Topic: A dachsund and his lack of balls.
A contest entry
- Poem of the Month - POM - by Bear by Arkbear.
1800 points, ended February 28, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I'd like some feedback.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Hello & welcome to POM!
I found this an interesting write with plenty of colorful imagery ~
however, this piece has been ruled "prose'/free verse/short story," and as such will not be scored for this particular contest...
My suggestion would be to focus on breaking it into stanzas, using punctuation & phrasing to create more of a poetic tone/flow. AP is loaded with PW contests, I'm sure there will be one that this could fit in with nicely.
Thank you & we hope to see you in a future PO' contest!
~ Tim -
....also, you are to use Black font on white background
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Poor dog, I know its responsible to fix them but doesnt sound nice!
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I did find this to be a bit on the prose side but none the less a nice write indeed best to you in the contest blessings always
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omg this is amazing and felt so damn personal! I really do hope that you edit out words you dont need, and break it into stanzas where a new thought is started. Please dont let this fine piece float away. Im telling you, i read a lot! and im picky on what i read because i really hate having my time wasted on boring stuff. but this, my friend, is so exciting to read and i wanna thank you for sharing it.
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I'm sorry....we ask for Poetic Tone and Voice.....you have entered Prose'/ FV / SS
God bless,
Bear -
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