A black, sickly numbness comprising my bones
Disillusioned with light and tumultuous tones
A decrepit, dread king stripped of power and throne
The light shifts to grey-scale, the sound dimly drones
An angelic form swift enchanted my eyes
My limbs gained sensation, my spirits did rise
My own mind I ensnared in my liquescent lies
An insidious atrophy, scathing surprise
The angel was butchered, 'longside hope and light
And my eyes became cataracts, drowning dead sight
And twelve-fold the terror of hell's haggard fright
Post-haste pounded my brain, oh such pitiful plight
And her blood, it still saturates hand, heart, and head
A feverish frenzy in ravenous red
Thought, hope, love and life it seems sure set to shred
Flooding my fitful lungs 'til at length I lie dead
Flooding powerless lungs 'til I'm mercied and dead
Author notes
In case some would be unaware, a "cataract" in what I presume to be the most original sense is a waterfall, or a downpour of water in general. It also has the more widely known meaning of an abnormality of the eye, generally associated with blindness. It's used in this primarily in the former sense, but works within the line for sort of a double meaning referencing both senses of the word.
Also, "mercied" is not a word, but is a sort of colloquialism that has been used before by Efrim Menuck of A Silver Mt. Zion whose lyricism I greatly admire, and thus it's quite honestly a real enough word for me, as evidenced by its use.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I really like this poem. It is dark, and effectively makes me feel a sense of loss in an odd sort of way. The negative connotation, I guess, is a part of it. "The angel was butchered, 'longside hope and light" is one of my favorite lines.
P.S. A Silver Mt. Zion is an awesome band.
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Negative connotation was quite heavy in it. Really in a whole lot of my poetry, as my mental state when writing is often one of total anguish. I don't think that's really uncommon though...Exhibit A: Edgar Allan Poe.
My favorite line was probably "The light shifts to grey-scale, the sound dimly drones." It really worked well in my mind as I thought it to speak of this numb, dead, uninspired state. Also, anytime you can use "liquescent" in a poem, that's just a winner. =) -
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Yeah, I have noticed that from reading a few of your other poems. But it seems to be easier to write when you are in a negative mood. It is to me, anyways.
I had to look up that word. I must say, it is a wonderful word. Kodos. -
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Yeah, props go to Poe for that word...I think I got it from "Ulalume", one of my favorite poems of his...being that its one of my favorites, of course I had to look up "liquescent" when I encountered it and didn't know the meaning.
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I liked this. It was a little difficult to follow but it sounded good. The rhyme flows really well and words go well together. The emotion most deffinitely reached out to be, but i'm not sure how. I didnt completely understand the poem but I still feel the emotion in it. Strange. haha. Over all really good poem. =]
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