Did Mommy and Daddy know?
The weekend farm was not beautiful,
though filled with wondrous animals;
a little girl’s childhood dream -
To run and play on the open land,
with dogs nipping at her dress
and chickens scurrying out of the way.
I followed the giggles in paths of tall corn,
hunting for my little friends who hid.
But dreams fade and little kids grew up,
as darkness crashed upon the altered farm.
An eerie hush stilled the damp air,
with an occasional dog bark or wood chop,
preparing the camp for its nightly ritual.
The immense fire was contained by rocks
and flickers lit up an altar next to a platform.
Children sat huddled under the buggy trees,
not daring to swat at the biting mosquitoes,
as adults circled the fire chanting unnaturally.
It was my turn that night as a hand grabbed me,
pulling me into the circle, close to the hot fire.
Stripped down bare, the platform was cold,
tears streaming down my face out of fear.
I’d only seen this done to adults before.
Chickens are noisy creatures in general;
they make a shrieking noise when you hold them by their legs.
The owner of the farm, the butcher we called him,
showed no mercy on that poor chicken,
as she twitched violently with no head.
Warm blood dripped on my forehead and chest,
as fingers dipped liked quills into ink,
tracing symbolic pictures on my body.
Hurtful hands held my wrists and ankles,
though my squirming had long stopped,
and chanting had faded out of my head.
To run and play on the open land,
with dogs nipping at her dress
and chickens scurrying out of the way.
I followed the giggles in paths of tall corn,
hunting for my little friends who hid.
In a list
A contest entry
- x She's Just a Delicate DisasteR x by xxRainbowDawnxx.
750 points, ended March 6, 33 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ☼♪Come On In!! Pre-writes allowed.Check options out :)♥ by Random Renee.
550 points, ended September 15, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites contest!!!!!!!!!!!! enter!!!!! by foreveryourslove.
1120 points, ended November 9, 1063 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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You had some strong emotions and feelings flowing in this nicely done piece. I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for entering and best of luck too you in the conteset.
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congrats on hm you deserved it great write!
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as fingers dipped liked quills into ink
and the ending was just amazing..great and different interesting write ehhe thats what im calling it..loveeddd this great hun! goodd luckkk!!☼♥
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Wow it is really good. It leaves me speechless. I hope you do well in my contest and thanks for entering.
-Jess
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intense write.
'An eerie hush stilled the damp air,
with an occasional dog bark or wood chop,
preparing the camp for its nightly ritual.'
I really like these line.
thanks so much for entering,
good luck.
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The fact that you left what happened to the little girl shrouded in mystery dragsicy fingers up my spine. The imagery is disturbing but excellent.
Best of luck and thanks for entering! -
This is pretty good. It has great imagery and really paints a picture. Nice job, and good luck
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EERIE. GHASTLY EXPERIENCE
a little girl’s childhood dream -
To run and play on the open land,
with dogs nipping at my dress
FOR SOME REASON THIS 3rd line bothers me
with the use of "my" dress instead of "Her" dress
Please read this over and see if you get what I'm saying here
But dreams fade and little kids grew up,
as darkness crashed upon the altered farm
Here the past tense stays consistent with the remainder of the poem
If you edit, please let me know by im with the
TITLE
This is certainly a finalist with that slight
alteration
Best wishes in the contest
till then
stay
liquid
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Very haunting...well written. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
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I live in Indiana, which is well known for their farms......this definitely puts a dark spin on that. Great write.
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This is such a sad piece. It over-flows with emotions. I loved the repitition of the same stanza, it fit very well. You described the pain and ache very well. I could picture it all. Thank you for entering and good luck.
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Loved it
very beautiful -
My heart froze in my chest. Beautiful work.
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I can not believe this, i really made my eyes water! Best of luck.
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thats just... insane.
honestly, that is pure insanity. twisted, very well written. thanks for entering -
I am terribly sorry if this did happen to you personally, it shouldn't happen to anyone. Ritual abuse, or any form of abuse but I suppose ritual abuse is sacred and therefore less known of and harder to stop, as you get brainwashed, is a terrible thing. I agree abuse, empowerment, brainwashing and animal cruelty are many, not all but a fair few, of the worst evils of the world. Always hre if you need to talk.
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Oh my! This is extremely well written and very easy to read and understand. I couldn't quit reading it. I wanted to read more. You've done a wonderful job with this. Great write!
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this is pretty intense...and sadly, i know of people that have gone through this.
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wow! I really don't know what to say except I hope this isn't true. I am speechless.
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i don't know..
what to say my friend..if this is true, the people who did this to you are sick, and i pray for the day karma comes to settle the score..if it's imaginary, it is one of the most creative and darkest pieces i ever read..all in all the actual write is stunning..
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Judged
Horrific. The words are painful and very full on.
You paint the most stark images that nobody should have to see, let alone write about to set themselves free.
Ritualistic killing, animal or not, is just not something I understand. Or comprehend exposing a child to.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck
Shari
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Incredible. You wrote a very horrific story. Very well done.
Mike
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Simply breath taking
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